Still Striving

Earthquake

2008-08-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

Mother's remaining pieces of china. The bowl is from aunt Amy's china pattern and the lid is from mother's.

The few remaining pieces of Aunt Amy's Bavarian china.

Our recent earthquake was immediately designated a 5.6, quickly upgraded to 5.8 but finally came in at a modest 5.4. My multi-story office building in Orange Co did quite a bit of shaking, creaking and groaning but there was no damage - unless you count a few frayed nerves. I called home immediately - or rather tried to because all phones, even cell phones, were out for quite a while. I wanted to make sure DH was fine and wondered how my mother's and aunt's few surving pieces of china had fared. Mother had a service for 12 of Hertel Jacob Bavarian china and her sister had Green Leaves Bavarian china. They bought it at the same time and lost almost all of the pieces at the same time in the 6.6 Sylmar quake of 1971. Mother had enough pieces to give me a complete service for 1 and the lid to her serving bowl. Aunt Amy also gave me a complete service for 1 and her serving bowl which had lost its lid. Though the lid and bowl are no longer a match, they look okay together and that's how I use them. Every so often DH and I use the dishes and they mean so much to me because of all the family history associated with them.

The networks covered our minor quake extensively and I remember one woman saying everything shook for five (5!) minutes - nope, more like 30 seconds which actually is quite a long time earthquake-wise. Have you ever experienced earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes?

I should add that we were living in Washington state at the time of the '71 quake. My sister, who didn't live too far from our parents, said everything in her kitchen fell out of the cupboards. One of the few items not broken was a gift bottle of alcohol and though she didn't drink, that day she said she did.

One Project Done!

2008-07-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

Tom's Farms, Corona. It was 100+ but fountains always look cool. He was singing, "Oh, Lord I'm stuck in Lodi again" - not CCR but pretty darn good.
We were very tempted to join the ducks.
I will always need to live near mountains and Mexican food.

It’s been so long since I’ve logged on that my password recall was a challenge!

Sometime in May I removed wallpaper from what is now our guest room in preparation for a fresh coat of paint. We were excited about the work we could do around the house now that both boys were with their mother. We had so much fun listing future projects but I noticed we weren’t getting any of them done. None. DH had been insulted all out of proportion when I originally suggested we hire someone to do this for us so I no longer suggested but said it was time to bring in additional help. He agreed.

Near the end of June we tried to reach the contractor who had painted the exterior of our home a couple of years ago but the number no longer worked. Unbelievably we got a card from him the next day saying he was contacting former customers and wanted to know if we had any work for him. We sure did. Because of the mortgage mess in this area, he had to let his employees go and was struggling to just keep his business going. We had him completely re-do the inside of our house – removing more wallpaper, texturizng walls, painting, updating the kitchen and kitchen and bathroom cabinets. And because he was working alone it took forever. It was fun to watch everything change but awful to have someone here every day from early morning until evening. By the time he left and dinner was fixed, the thought of even turning on the computer was too much. And weekends were spent doing all the things we couldn't get to during the week. When I did try to get online, there were "connection problems." I spent hours with Earthlink until I figured out it wasn't them - it was us. DH and the contractor were inadvertently disconnecting our DSL connection. Sigh.

He’s now finished and we’re trying to put all the rooms back in order. The walls look too nice to hang anything on so we have pictures propped up everywhere. We’re glad this is over and eager to get back to our routine. I remember a client who had their house remodeled – took about six months and she said it was the closest she and her husband ever came to divorcing. We didn’t go through anything like that but it took much longer than we expected and did test our patience.

Re our contractor: one of our neighbors liked the job he was doing for us and hired him for some work on their home. Another friend came by, saw his work and is also going to use him. The contractor is a young man with a wife and two small children to support, trying to keep his business afloat until the economy turns around. SoCal has been hit hard by this mortgage mess and many of the jobs he had lined up were cancelled. It’s a tough time to be young and self-employed.

Have you ever gone through a remodel, room addition? Are you a DIY person who loves doing home projcts? If you are, I could use your name and address - I'm planning our next project right after I get caught up on your blogs!

The Quilt

2008-06-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

The quilt pictured was given to me last week by my neighbor. It was hand quilted by her mother and grandmother, is 55-years old and has a wool batting. I felt guilty accepting it and politely tried to decline the gift saying it was really a family heirloom and was she sure she wanted to part with it. Was there another member of her family she would prefer to give it to? Nope, she wanted me to have it. She then went on to explain that six years ago after her mother who lived with her had passed away, seeing the quilt made her sad. I then felt more comfortable accepting it and remembered a friend who used to make and give quilts as gifts. She always took a picture of them before she gave them away so I asked my neighbor if she would want pictures of her quilt. She got a little teary-eyed, hugged me and said yes. These are some of the pictures I gave her.

Everyone handles grief differently but it would grieve me to give away something like that if my mother had made it. I wonder what makes the difference. After my mother passed away, a client asked if he could ask me about her or if the subject was too painful. It was a sort-of therapy for my grief to share her so I was rather grateful he asked and it didn’t bother me at all. I found letters mother wrote that I would have liked to share with my sister but she said no – she didn't want to see them because it was just too painful for her. Both of us grieved but handled it differently. Does it give you comfort or pain to discuss a loved one who has passed away? I think my client was particularly tactful when he asked if it was okay to ask and that’s what I now do with those who have had a loss.

Update

2008-06-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

Our 18-year old DGS asked to borrow my digital camera and these are some of the images I found on it when it was returned.

I asked him about them and he said it was "art." Hmmmm. Seems art, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Crisis averted. DD went on an interview last Thursday for a job driving a bus in another county. They hired her on the spot and she started her new job yesterday. The down-side is that it's further from home so it's unlikely she will be able to go home on her split-shift days and apparently they will all be split-shift days; she's also taken a pay cut. For the up-side she once again has a paycheck, medical coverage for the family, is contributing to the same retirement plan and has a job she enjoys. She has learned a lot through this whole experience and so have we.

Before she lost her job she purchased a car from a private party that literally died as she was pulling out of the driveway. She wanted her money back, the other party said they'd have their mechanic fix the car instead. Bottom line - she didn't get the car and has gotten some but not all of her money back. So she and DGS shared his car. Until it died. Our son then told her about a friend selling a car and she bought it and that's what she and DGS are now sharing. We've helped out where and when we could so it's been a busy time for all of us.

Now a little personal stuff: DD has been remarkable through all this. I can't begin to say how absolutely crushed she was at losing her job and then the one "good" car they had gave up the ghost. I wondered how she would handle all the stress she was given and she did just fine. Amazing. It wasn't that long ago when her life was an unbelievable mess - I won't go into details because it doesn't matter and she isn't that person anymore - but she was at the very bottom in every way imaginable. When she checked herself into a place where they taught her how to live a "normal" life they helped give her her life back. All of the little speed-bumps in life that threw her such a curve are now just that - little speed bumps. There were times when all of us chafed at the rules and regulations she had to follow but we told ourselves, they must know what they're doing. And they did. She has learned how to parent, budget, maintain a home and her sobriety. And we're learning how to relax and trust things will work out.

Thank you all for your prayers, good thoughts and well wishes. Love does make the world go round.

That Was The Week That Was!

2008-06-14T17:32:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been. After learning on Monday that she no longer had a job, DD was told to pick up her final check Tuesday. She was distraught so I said I would take Tuesday off to drive her there and suggested she ask for a letter of recommendation and also if they would consider rehiring her at some point. I knew they thought well of her and had spent a lot of time and money training her - if the accident had happened after her probation period it wouldn't have been a problem. I also thought that giving her a "talking point" would keep her steady.

Tuesday morning I picked her up, her eyes swollen from crying but chin up and ready to face the music. A friend spent most of Monday evening with her because she said she had been in "code red." She realized she had come too far to slip but it did cross her mind.

At the yard I waited in the car while she went inside. After about 30 minutes she came out and said we needed to go back to her place for the badge and uniform. She then told me what had gone on inside. Bottom line, they didn't want to lose her but had no choice. Her supervisor had wanted to extend her probation a month instead of letting her go but rules are rules. He said that they had reviewed the tape after the accident and watched every rider on the bus give her a hug as they got off. Undercover riders had been on her bus many times and had all written glowing reports on how she handled the bus and passengers. She was then told she was the type of employee they wanted and asked her to reapply in about seven months and they would rehire her. Her supervisor had already made a call to a possible new employer for her and asked DD to go there and pick up an application.

When we went back to the bus yard with her badge and uniform, she brought her supervisor out to meet me. Awkward but nice. He said he wants her back and I stumbled through something. The rest of the day was spent running errands - she needed a DMV printout, we went to the bank to deposit her final check, she picked up an application, did some grocery shopping and we ended the day by having a late lunch. It was a long day and I was exhausted.

Today is the first day we haven't been over to see her. She still feels sad about what happened but is keeping herself busy looking for a new job. Knowing how much they wanted to keep her I wish they could have but......what's that expression? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. DD is resilient and will get through this but I'm a little slower and haven't even been able to turn the computer on until now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your good thoughts, prayers and well wishes for DD.

An Ending

2008-06-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

I can't help but wonder - was she too happy? Did I bring her bad luck by calling her a bus driver extraordinaire? There is a Norwegian philosophy about things going so well that something bad is bound to happen. And it has. Our DD lost her job as a bus driver because she scraped a sheriff's car with the bus late Saturday afternoon while making a right hand turn. The car was at an angle into the street while handling a traffic stop or something and she thought she had enough room but didn't. I don't have all the details but then again they don't matter at this point. She feels she's let everyone down, is embarrassed and very sad. She loved the job and tried so hard. I guess it wasn't meant to be but it's hard right now for her to hear that. Logistically speaking she now needs to get a new job - quickly - and we will help make sure she doesn't lose her place. I think I'm going to take a blogging vacation for a bit. It's time to circle the wagons.

The Bus Driver

2008-06-06T19:16:00.000-07:00

Last month I promised DD a new hairdo to celebrate her first-year anniversary. It had been three years since her last haircut and she wanted a new "do." As badly as she wanted one, she was nervous about going. Finally she reached the point where she didn't care what was done to her hair - she just wanted a change. Ta-Da! Her hair was cut yesterday and this is The Change. She is so happy with her new look! Bus driver extraordinaire.

According to Fortune magazine, these are actual resume blunders:

"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
"I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat programs."
"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
"Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave."
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed institutions."
"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
"It's best for employers that I not work with people."
"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

Bada bing!

She's older than she's ever been...and now she's even older...

2008-06-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

I love, love, love birthdays! This one has been particularly sweet! I've been experimenting with a four-day work week and will now make it permanent. Gives me a little more play time. BTW - I took today off and the market was up over 200 points. Hmmmm, maybe I'll take next week off and see what happens.

Compliments of Amy, I'm now going to eat my virtual carrot cake cheesecake. Virtual calories so everyone, help yourself.

And he's from Big D....

2008-06-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

"Grandma?"

"Yes, Dallas?"

"Can you come to Texas and get me and take me to California when school's out?"

"Dallas, you're coming to California at the end of the month with your other Grandma. Can you wait a little longer?"

"I guess so but I want you to come and get me so I can get there sooner."

"Should I talk to your mother about that?"

"No. I guess I have to wait 'cause she already has the tickets."

"Then I think it's probably best if you wait too."

So our 10-year old Texas grandson will be here fairly soon but not soon enough. Last year his mother said she would let him live in California with his dad (our son) if he worked hard in school and got good grades. He did and now time will tell if he moves out here.

He lives with his mother, step-dad, half-sister and a veritable zoo assortment of animals (lemurs, geese, pigs, chickens, horses, dogs, cats, and goats to name a few) but misses his dad. His other grandma is retiring this year and may move to Texas so he will have her nearby. It sounds like a pretty good life for a kid but he misses his dad. But if he lived here, wouldn't he miss his mother and Texas lifestyle? No easy decisions here.

Last year when family friends drove him to California he brought me a kitten for my birthday. This was not a wanted present - in fact when he told me about the kitten before he left Texas, I reminded him we couldn't have one because of our dog. He held the kitten all the way and when DH saw it, he let Dallas know he didn't want a kitten. Dallas told him it wasn't for him, it was for his grandma. So........I kept the kitten he'd named SnowBelle, renamed her Samantha and she's been the best birthday present ever. Having a cat is new to me and she's been a constant source of delight, entertainment, exasperation and love. I learned I'd always wanted a cat.

Memories

2008-06-03T20:14:00.000-07:00

We had lots of fun singing this song when we were kids. We didn't sound like They Might Be Giants but we sang with enthusiasm.

Recalling our road trips of years past reminded me of the Burma Shave signs. We got so excited every time we saw one and read them out loud and in unison. I found some of the old slogans and think they're still entertaining:

Around the curve
Lickety split
It's a beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave

She put a bullet
Through his hat
But he's had
Closer shaves than that
Burma Shave

Slow down pa
Sakes alive
Ma missed
Signs four and five
Burma Shave

Within this vale
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin
Burma Shave

Drinking drivers
Nothing worse
They put the quart
Before the hearse
Burma Shave

Thirty days
Hath September
April, June
And the speed offender
Burma Shave

Simpler times - we were easily amused.

It's not easy being green.......

2008-06-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

We have green and red peppers. Are these green peppers or green going to be red peppers? Roma tomatoes, I think.

None of the tomatoes are ripe yet and my nightmare is that they will all ripen at once.

DD was driving her bus when she noticed one of the tires was flat. She called dispatch and they came out with another bus for her passengers. It was all done quickly and she finished her route just a few minutes off schedule. She said she was worried that her superiors would think the flat was her fault but they quickly assured her she hadn't done anything wrong - equipment breaks down.

Driving a city bus is hard work and she has developed callouses on her hands from gripping the wheel. She's been reluctant to wear gloves but now realizes she must. Two days a week she has a split shift with a 3-hour break. It makes the day much longer but she doesn't mind because it gives her a break from the physical demand of driving eight hours straight. Wednesday and Thursday are her days off. When her probation period is over (July 17th) she can work all the overtime she wants and plans on working 6 days a week.

We haven't seen her drive yet but may catch a ride with her one of these weekends - I'll bring my camera when we do. She still finds time to attend meetings and has a great support group. It hasn't always been easy but she's hanging in there and doing a good job.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-06-01T18:03:00.000-07:00

Agapanthus - Lily of the Nile - our first of the season and a favorite of hummingbirds. Once these are blooming they ignore our feeders and head for the good stuff. We received some sad news today - our neighbors have decided they are getting a little too old to remain in their home and have just put it on the market. He had knee-replacement surgery last year and though the rehabilitation was long he did amazingly well. He had his second knee replaced fairly recently and this time his adjustment isn't going as well. He thinks the first one went well because he had one "natural" knee but now with two artificial knees he doesn't feel he can handle all a home demands. They are looking into a retirement community or assisted living arrangement. Real estate is very slow in this area and we're hoping that this gives them a little more time to adjust to the new knees and perhaps change their plans. They have had a gardener and cleaning couple for years and two of their three children live near enough to help out on an as-needed basis. I hope they don't move. Also they really aren't that much older than we are and frankly it scares me to think of the day we won't be able to stay in our home. My 87-year old aunt is still living alone in her home. Not that she wants to die but she says when her time comes she hopes she's still at home, working in her kitchen. Me too.

The L.A. Times had a wonderful story in today's paper about the wedding of two 95-year olds. Both had been married to their prior partners for 60+ years and known each other casually from church and around town. When their spouses died, each had purchased a home in a retirement community. They began spending time together and started dating. He proposed on their first date which, "scared the bejusus" out of her. Eventually she accepted his proposal after conferring with her family. Both families gave their blessing and 200 family and friends attended the wedding. She said he spoiled her and even told her she deserved a man with hair - he's nearly bald. It was such a cute story. Nice to know that even if the knees go, love doesn't.

Flashback.....

2008-05-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

While at Starbucks and looking at the CD display, I saw a compilation CD of old songs and recognized one by Rosemary Clooney - Come On-A My House. It was playing on the radio during one of our yearly trips back to Minnesota and caused quite an arguement between mother and dad. Mother was singing along with the radio and dad was quite upset about her singing that "hussy" song. I didn't know then what a hussy was but figured it probably wasn't too bad because mother kept singing.

We kids enjoyed the trips but they were hard on our parents - four (eventually five) kids in the back seat, squirming all over the place and asking every hour or so, "aren't we there yet?" We four (eventually five) had our space staked out and it was war if someone got too close or, heaven forbid, touched us. Being susceptible to car sickness I was often allowed to sit in the front. It didn't take me long to know how to use that - a feeble, "I don't feel so well" got me moved up quickly to the front. Mother frantically told dad to pull over and stop because she thought I might urp in the car - can you imagine traveling 2k miles in a car that's been urped in? No, and neither could she.

One man's trash, another man's treasure?

2008-05-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

When my mother gave me this picture of myself taken when I was three, my aunt told her to, "throw away that ugly frame, just give her the picture." But mother said she liked the frame and ignored her sister. Some months later my aunt gave me a lovely silver frame and told me to put this picture in it and throw away "that tacky thing." Obviously I listen and take suggestions as well as my mother did. ;-)

The frame doesn't "go" with anything but I couldn't bear to throw it away. I was three when the picture was taken and figure the frame is about my age. No sense in getting rid of things just because they're old, right? I do wonder where mother bought the frame though.

Red Letter Day

2008-05-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

Let's go shopping!

Red letter day - a day which will always be remembered because of something especially good that happened on it.

Today was a definite red letter day. This morning before going to the office DH and I went to Panera's for an early cup of coffee. Not the usual way we start our day but lots of fun. Sitting across from me he said how nice my hair looked. He's pretty generous with his compliments so that was sweet but not unusual. Then he broke out of the box with this: "You know, you've really got it going on." Say what??? That is not my husband of a kazillion years - he doesn't talk like that. But how wonderful that we two old folks can still think the other is a hottie. Yep, definitely a red letter day!

Now that song, "Stacy's mom, has got it going on" is my new earworm!

Meow - and not in a good way!

2008-05-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

My Samantha who is.......................... not the least bit catty! Good girl, Sam
Let me start first by saying I’ve never seen a Barbara Walters interview or watched The View. I don’t have an opinion of her one way or the other. In fact, most of what I know about her has been from old Saturday Night Live parodies - remember Barbara WaWa? I think her recent book has made news primarily because of her revelation of a long-ago affair with a then-married Senator which was tres tacky on her part: first for having the affair and second for writing about it.

Caitlin Flanagan reviews her book, “Audition” in the June issue of The Atlantic and her review has "meow" written all over it. The first paragraph of the review says this about Ms. Walters: "Too often, a tiny nut-brown hand waves vaguely in the air....." Tiny nut-brown hand???? Is that a reference to her age? With a little luck the reviewer may live long enough to have a “nut-brown hand” – tiny or otherwise. Not everything that happens with aging is beautiful – sorry.

How about this one? "Barbara Walters did not earn exclusive interviews with some of the most important international figures of her heyday by revealing to them a deep intellectual engagement with foreign and domestic policy. Nor did she do it by deploying pulchritude – minus the lighting and makeup, she has always looked like the love child of Madeleine Albright and Spiro Agnes." Isn't Ms. Flanagan clever? That rates a double "meow."

Am I being too sensitive? Some of the remarks in this review seem like personal attacks rather than a focus on the book. I was always taught that if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything. Oh, wait - that would mean you would attack the book on its merits. In my opinion that makes for a more fair review of what a book review should be – a review of the book, not the author's looks. "Meow"

Happy Birthday Sister!

2008-05-25T22:19:00.001-07:00

My Mickey - I couldn't pronounce Camille so it came out Ca-Mickey - the nickname Mickey stuck and that is how some of our relatives still refer to her. Sisters
BFF
A colleague’s 39 year old son died of cancer a little over a week ago and his death so close to my sister’s birthday has left me feeling pretty sad.

My sister Camille passed away three years ago this July 1st and today is her birthday – she would be 64. From May 25th until June 5th we were the same age which was especially fun when we were kids because it always puzzled our friends who knew we weren’t twins - so how come we were the same age? Mother said that she was told you couldn’t get pregnant as long as you were nursing – surprise!

My sister was one of the most determined people I’ve ever known – if she wanted to learn, do or be something, nothing could stop her. The only thing she couldn’t overcome was MS but she put up one heck of a fight. She had the worst type of MS – one that progressively worsened over the years. She faithfully used a machine that exercised her legs to keep them as healthy as possible in case a cure was found. She wanted to be able to walk again.

Right up until the end her long-term memory was excellent but not her short-term memory. I remember recalling with her some of the funny things we did as kids and some of the mischief we got into. Almost completely paralyzed and sitting in her wheelchair her eyes danced with laughter as she said, “I was such a little stinker, wasn’t I?” She wasn’t but she was almost always in constant motion when younger as if to somehow make up for all the days she’d be in a wheelchair.

She was very religious and prayed for healing but never lost her faith when it didn’t happen. The most important things to her were her faith and loving family. Her husband was her primary caregiver and because of him she was able to stay at home until she passed away. And her children and grandchildren gave her so much happiness. It’s a joy to see how much her oldest granddaughter resembles her – the circle of life.

I always thought we’d grow old together and be two old ladies sharing memories. Selfishly I feel cheated but MS cheated her and her family too. In my head I know she’s better off and no longer suffering but in my heart I just plain miss her. Happy birthday sister!

Bumper Stickers

2008-05-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

I've read that if you're selling your home, red, pink, yellow, and even white roses are okay but if you've got orange roses - replace them. For some reasons orange roses are a big no-no to potential buyers. I like them anyway.I often see bumper stickers that say: I'm A Proud Parent of My Honor Student at (Insert-Name-of-School-Here)

Then anti-bumper stickers began showing up: My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student.

Today in the rear window of an obviously proud parent was the following:

Proud Parent of:

#1 - serving proudly in the military
#2 - *A* student - ROTC
#3 - *A* student - Honor Society
#4 - *-* student - skateboarder
#5 - *A* student - cub scout

I wondered if child #4's "A" somehow got wiped off or if he (or she) isn't quite the student his (or her) siblings are.

Where there's smoke.......

2008-05-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Mt. Baldy

The heat is rising, wind increasing and there is a fire on Mt Baldy. So far 300 acres have burned and it is zero percent contained. The area that is burning hasn’t had a forest fire since the mid 70’s so there is lots of vegetation to fuel the fire. I hope a fire this early in the year doesn't portend a record year for forest fires.

Family

2008-05-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

Redlands - the roses were beautiful, the grounds perfectly manicured." They're painting the roses red," said Alice.
I was invited to visit the Redlands Family History Center by a neighbor who is LDS. At the Center, genealogical research can be done on one’s family – whether or not one is LDS. My family history is a little convoluted since I know very little about my birth dad and only marginally more about the man who was dad. I have more information about my mother’s side of the family so that’s where I started.

A woman working there handed me a packet of information about how to get started and helped me begin my research on their computers. My mother’s dad was born in Norway and came to this country via Canada so I wasn’t sure how much we’d be able to find but Leslie started checking US Census data from the county in Minnesota where they lived and voila – listed on the 1910 Census was info re my mother’s parents and her two older siblings. Eventually there were nine children in her family. On one form they listed my mother as "Charlotte" – Aurlette must have sounded like Charlotte to the census taker.

I looked into my dad’s family name and pulled up information on his brothers and sisters – all of them now dead. It was sobering to see all of them listed with their birth dates and dates of death. I don’t think they changed the family name when they came to this country so that should help in the research. That and I think I have a cousin who may have already done some of this work – though we’re not really related I think she will share what she knows.

Re my birth dad: It turned out that when he died, he didn’t live that far from where we live.

Has anyone else done genealogical research? Leslie said it was one of the more popular hobbies. The LDS website www.familysearch.org provides info on how to get started and also has free family history software that can be downloaded.

Yum!

2008-05-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

When the boys were here we had dinner every evening at just about the same time and we all ate at the table together. It was family time and a good way to get caught up on everyone's day. Now that they're gone we're breaking the self-imposed rules. So what did we have for dinner tonight? Pie. Not for dessert. For dinner. Pie. It was fun - fresh coffee and pie. If we get hungry later (it was pie but we didn't stuff ourselves!)we will eat something sensible later. Our walk on the wild side. See what passes for wild and crazy at our ages?

I stopped at Pier One on the way home today and now I want to get rid of all our furniture and start over. They have such fun, colorful stuff. DH is going to meet me there after work this week and I'll see if he likes some of the things as much as I do. As long as we're painting and making changes, why not new furniture?

2008-05-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Patio Tomatoes Swiss ChardDH is now growing patio tomatoes, two different types of roma tomatoes, two different types of beefsteak tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, green peppers, red peppers, swiss chard, rhubarb, Thompson grapes, Red Flame grapes and a dozen different herbs. He wasn't able to do much gardening last year and is more than making up for it now. It seems like a lot of work to me but is a form of relaxation for him.

The boys came over for dinner this evening. We enjoy their company and it is one way we can help out when DD is working late. DH loves to barbecue for an appreciate audience and teenagers can put food away better than anyone!

One more item re the Moving Wall and Vietnam: We have a friend who was a captain in VN and he and another buddy were the only ones who survived in his platoon. They came under intense fire and he and his buddy went to higher ground to radio for air cover. The troops fought hard but were overrun and by the time air cover arrived it was too late – even their medic was killed. Their names are on the Wall.

Moving Wall

2008-05-04T16:58:00.000-07:00

A panel of the Moving Wall More panels, more names.
58,228 names.
A remembrance to MIA/POW's - Missing Man Table
Map of Vietnam
We visited the Moving Wall in Fontana this weekend, the replica of the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial and it was a very emotional experience. There are 74 panels and a total of 58,228 names on the wall. Fifty-eight thousand, two hundred and twenty-eight and every one of them loved and missed.

You can’t help but think about our current war-conflict-police-action-nation-building or whatever they’re calling it now and wonder how many names will end up on the next memorial. We’re already five years into this: 4,071 American have died, nearly 30,000 wounded and we’re still counting. I remember commentators joking about how Bush would FedEx WMD’s in if none were found – I don’t think anyone is laughing now.

Holy Smokes!

2008-05-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

Our geraniums bloom all year long.Today DD told us she has finally made the decision to stop smoking. Good news! DH was especially concerned about her smoking since his surgeon told him his own cancer was "100% caused by smoking." He talked to DD and told her he didn’t want her to go through the same thing - bladder cancer is not exclusively a male problem. She listened politely but always said she wasn’t ready to quit. Today she is ready. And the source of her epiphany? She was lighting her cigarette with what she termed “one of those cheapie lighters” when a huge flame shot out of it, singed her hair and scorched her forehead. She said she doesn’t need to get the message again – that was a sign. Aunt Lena always said there isn’t anything so bad that something good doesn’t come out of it. Yep.

Our Carriers

2008-05-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

USS Enterprise - we were apx 2+ miles from it when we crossed its wake in our boat while we lived in Seattle. We climbed up a wall of water, dropped down the trough and then climbed up another wall of water. Our son locked himself in the head and said he wasn't going to come out until the boat stopped rocking. It was quite a ride!Has anyone else been watching the 10 hour, 5 episode PBS mini-series, “Carrier?” It is a documentary of life aboard the USS Nimitz during its 2005 six-month deployment to the Persian Gulf. It has been absolutely riveting, beginning with their departure from Coronado, California; tonight the series ends with their return.

Along the way we’ve seen sailors young and old share their points of view – all the way from heavy bitching to those that plan on making the military their career and just about everything in between. Male and female, young and old, they seem to be able to give their opinions honestly and openly.

Last night’s episode featured night-time landing on the carrier during rough seas – made me nervous just watching it. The photography has been incredible and they’ve put a lot of thought into the eclectic music accompanying each episode. Absolutely wonderful! If you haven’t been watching, look for it in reruns – definitely worth seeing.

More Stuff...

2008-04-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

Andy

Though the boys no longer live with us, they are here almost every day to visit and share what’s going on in their lives. And we really enjoy their visits – it’s wonderful to be back in the role of grandparents.

After DH’s bladder removal surgery last year we both had some adjusting to do. Mechanically speaking we had to deal with an external bladder and all that that entails and it wasn’t always easy. However, we’ve managed and for some time now we’ve wanted to give back – help others deal with some of the problems and adjustments that we faced. Today DH took a step closer to making that happen by attending a volunteer’s meeting for the American Cancer Society. There is some training involved but I know he will be an asset - he is such a positive person.

Have you ever had frog-eye salad? A friend formerly from Utah says it’s served at every potluck there. She brought some over yesterday and yummm – it’s delicious! I’ve checked and there are many recipes for it online – it calls for a small pasta that tastes somewhat like tapioca, a cooked dressing, pineapple, mandarin oranges, coconut and whipped cream. Isn’t it funny how certain areas and groups have their potluck specialties? For our family it was always a Jello dish. No gathering was complete without it.

DD is working crazy hours. Some days she starts at 8:30am – has a 2-1/2 hour layover – and ends her shift at 7:30pm. She is able to go home during her layover period when she drives in Riverside. Tired but happy – those checks have started coming with some regularity now. :-)

Birthdays, brownies, and bears - oh, my!

2008-04-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ms Anne Bear - you don't get too old for teddy bears, right? What a fun day. My niece, her dad and two daughters came for a visit; partly to celebrate her oldest daughter's birthday this Sunday and partly for her dad to look at a VW. Jessica wanted to go to the Rainforest Cafe for her birthday celebration but we had no idea the place would be packed with (are you ready for this?) 265 red-hat members. Red hats of every size and hue decorated the place. We were told there would be a wait for our lunch unless we ate in the all-age bar - which we did. DH came with us so we were a party of six. The birthday girl was given a glass full of maraschino cherries because she told the server how much she loved them - quite the charmer. Later they sang a birthday song and presented her with a "birthday volcano" - a huge mass of chocolate brownie slabs and vanilla ice-cream topped with chocolate sauce. She shared that with everyone and there were leftovers. The lunch was good but the best part was being together, sharing memories and making new ones.

After lunch DH and BIL left to look at the car and we girls got to spend time shopping. The girls wanted to get some clothes and accessories for their bears and while at Build-A-Bear it happened - I caught Bear Fever. I resisted for awhile but ended up with a bear of my own which the birthday girl named Anne, aka Annie. We made another stop at the mall before heading back to our place for a quick dip in the spa - the girls are small enough to think it's a pool. A nice way to cool off before heading home. A perfect day over too quickly.

DD had a graduation lunch today at which time she was presented with her RTA uniform. We haven't seen it yet but hope to before the weekend is over.

Celebration Time!

2008-04-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

Bouganvillea - one of my favorites but glad I don't have to prune them.DD now has her Class B license! She passed the driving test today with flying colors, including parallel parking the bus which she aced on her first try. She said it was hard to get to sleep last night because she was so nervous. She will sleep well tonight. Guaranteed.

Her first solo will be this Sunday but she won't know what route she gets until Saturday. The buses run seven days a week and until she has some seniority she can be assigned to any RTA shift and route. She knew this going in and is okay with it - for her the benefits far outweigh the inconveniences.

The coyotes are already howling tonight and it's not even dark. They definitely get Andy's attention but Sam sleeps through everything - ah, the life of a cat.

Photo Enforced!

2008-04-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know exactly where our morning glories went during the winter but they're blooming again and growing like a weed. I intend for them to cover a slope so grow!Photo enforced intersections are those armed with cameras that are tripped when a driver goes through against the light. The cameras photograph the car’s driver and license plate and then a ticket is mailed to the registered owner after some sort of verification matching the driver’s picture to the owner’s DL. I’m seeing more and more photo enforced intersections in this area but some drivers have a problem with them because drivers often hesitate before entering these intersections and then speed up to hurry through. They don’t want to get stuck in the middle if the light turns red. Maybe it’s just here in car-crazy SoCal where everyone’s in such a hurry but without these cameras you can pretty much count on three or four cars continuing through an intersection after the light has turned red.

Our list of home-improvement projects keeps growing. DH was telling me of another neighbor/friend who is tackling the same sorts of projects we are. He’s having the work done by a contractor he likes who is reasonable and does good work. I asked DH if we should interview the contractor and have him work us up an estimate. Well, that didn’t go well. DH thought that meant I doubted his ability but I didn’t and don’t. But I have a feeling we’ll be working on some of these projects for quite a while! Painting party next weekend - bring a brush!

How high?

2008-04-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

The roses look like they're made of paper on this bush, my favorite.

Regular gas in our area is now $3.81 or more a gallon. It seems to be a case of price creep and we pretty much adjust when the price goes up a few cents, down a cent or so, and then back up even higher. As we were driving, DH said – look, the gas there is only $3.79. Only? Yep, we’ve been trained well and now think $3.79/gallon is a relative bargain. I don't think we're driving less but we are using DH's old VW more often for errands around town. DD can get us free bus passes but using the bus isn't always very convenient. Actually, public transportation in this area isn't very good. So I was wondering, are you driving less? Using or considering public transportation? I remember the gas lines of the 70's. Odd/even days when you could buy gas based on your license number. We were supposed to use that as a wake-up call and become more energy independent, not be held hostage to the oil producing countries. So much for good intentions.

Il Papa

2008-04-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

Pope Benedict XVI

Pope Benedict’s visit to the US and all the excitement it has generated reminds me of a very dear client who passed away some years ago. She lived in Laguna Beach, about two blocks from a Catholic church and went to Mass every day. The church was literally her second home and family since she had no relatives.

During Pope John Paul’s visit to Los Angeles, she got a chance to meet him and said that was the highlight of her life. When she talked about it the years dropped away and she seemed like a young kid that had just met her rock-star idol. Sometimes meetings like that are life-changing events but I can’t say that about her; she was very devout before and after. She felt it was a privilege to be able to leave her estate to the church, a way for her to do good works after she was gone. A very nice lady.

History

2008-04-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

Panama WWII - WEP's picture. Aquitania, Pier 6, CristobalThese pictures were found in some of my mother’s things. The writing on the back is my birth dad’s (WEP) and re the above picture it says “Aquatania, (sic) Pier 6 Cristobal, ep.” He signed it with the initials “ep” since he didn’t use his first name.

This is what I’ve since learned: The British passenger four-funnel liner Aquitania was launched in 1913 and was in service for a short time. In 1919 it was refurbished and re-entered service in 1920 and remained in service up until WWII when it was used as a troopship and loaned to the US for the San Francisco-Honolulu run. After the war it continued in service until 1948 and was eventually scrapped in 1951.

I wasn't interested in learning much about him when mother was alive (opportunity lost) but it is interesting now piecing some of the pictures of the puzzle together.

The following was sent to the office by one of our more staid associates - approaching 80, sense of humor intact:

"In an ongoing effort to keep you abreast of events affecting our world today, I pass on to you the following bit of insight in hopes you will find it helpful.

Generations are grouped as follows:

-The Silent generation, people born before 1945.

-The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961.

-Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976.

-Generation Y, people born between 1977 and 1989.

Why do we cal the last one Generation Y? I did not know but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below!"

A Walk Down Memory Lane

2008-04-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

One of my goals is to get my pictures organized but I spend as much time with my memories as I do sorting. These pictures were taken when both boys wanted to stay up New Year's Eve for the first time. Here they are, starting out strong - there is four years between their ages. Same mom, same dad, different coloring. With DGS's#2 coloring, he attracted lots of attention. Still does.

Going strong - at this point they both think they'll make it to midnight.

Oops, one down. Actually as I remember, he lasted longer than DH did.

Okay, laying down on the floor for a bit - but not sleeping!

Whoo-hoo! Made it. He was sound asleep within 5 minutes.

I remember the first time my parents let me stay up until midnight. I expected something magical, mystical to happen when the next year rolled around and was surprised to see we really just moved from one minute to the next. But I still stay up every year to see the new one in. One year I ate a whole bag of Doritos to stay awake - haven't been able to eat them since. Any special memories of the first time you stayed up on New Year's Eve?

Mothers & Daughters

2008-04-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

Our local paper is asking readers to finish this sentence: “I knew I became my mother when............”

When my mother passed away, one of the first things my aunt said to me was, "You know what this means, right?" I nodded. Just to make sure I understood what she was intimating, she said, "You’ve moved up a notch." Yes, I knew that but what I mostly knew was that I’d lost my best friend.

It was many years before that when I wondered if I had become my mother. It happened when I had finished getting ready for work and was about to walk out the door. Taking a quick look in the mirror, it was my mother’s face looking back at me. I froze and stared at the image – in the navy suit I was wearing I looked just like she had some years ago in her navy suit. I’ve never had that experience since but every so often DH will say, "Wow, right now you look just like your mother." It must be a certain look or manner that I’ve unconsciously adopted because our temperaments and personalities were very different.

I’ve often heard women friends sort of groan and complain or laugh when/if they think they’ve become like their mother but I’ve never heard men say or worry that they’ve become like their dad. Wonder why.

So, did you ever say or think: "I knew I became my mother when............"

Studying the Studies

2008-04-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a good year for our roses.Did you hear about the University of Michigan study showing that having a husband increases a woman's housework by seven hours a week? However, having a wife saves a husband about an hour of housework a week. Our local TV news reported (tongue-in-cheek I hope) that after marriage a man gets a slave, the woman becomes one. It's better than it used to be though; in 1976 woman did an average of 26 hours of housework a week while a man did 6. It seems that men have pitched in more as more women began working outside the home. My opinion? I think male and female, we all work too much.

I sort of stumbled into the work force when our children were both in school. That necessitated a slight shift in our sharing of household duties. A slight shift because we had fairly "traditional" roles. Since then we've learned what each does best and we divide what needs to be done that way. Funny though, it's still fairly traditional. I handled all of his outdoor chores when he was in the hospital and nearly killed all our plants with kindness - watered everything way too much and had the biggest water bill ever! Now I just help tend to the flowers - a labor of love.

Yada, yada, yada........

2008-04-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

Our new computer arrived Friday, I put it together Saturday and turned it on for a few minutes to make sure everything was okay – it was. Today DH had his first lesson. Before retiring he worked for a privately owned company, efficiently run and very productive. It was a good target for a much, much larger corporation that bought this well-run, productive, and-did-I-say-profitable company and changed just about everything. One of the first things they did was bring in lots of guys in three-piece suits and computers for everyone. DH learned a few computer basics but work just wasn’t as much fun for these corporate types and he was glad to retire when he did.

Bad news: DD’s car is gasping its last breath. Good news: There is a buyer for the car, breathing or not since he’s a VW fan who has eyed this car ever since it belonged to DGS. I asked DD if she could take the bus to work but she didn’t think that was very funny. Tomorrow she starts work at 4:00am and will be driving in Hemet three days this week. They bid on these bus routes by seniority and she knows it will be a couple of years before she gets a good schedule. She enjoys it though and the benefits are worth hanging in for.

DH and I are starting to get some things done around the house that had been postponed while the boys were here. This weekend I removed the wallpaper in DGS’s room and we will paint it next weekend. I’d like to add wainscoting in the computer room, and in the kitchen – well, the cabinets need to be refinished. And now that I’m thinking about it, our bedroom could use a new fresh coat of paint.

Want to major in bagpipes? Last fall UC Riverside began a degree program in bagpipes and Scottish drums. The chairman of the music department is convinced that once word is out as to the who their pipe and drum directors are, people will flock to the program. And what do they consider a flock? Ten students in the program three years from now! Apparently music tastes and numbers constituting a flock are subjective.

Just Stuff

2008-04-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Green Thompson seedless grapes - in progress. Our Red Flames are a little slower but it looks like we are going to have a bumper crop of both this year. We (DH) is also growing tomatoes, green and red peppers, and swiss chard which we're already enjoying. The avocado trees aren't doing well but the small meyer and eureka lemon trees keep us and our neighbors in lemons.

As I was driving home today, my phone rang; it was DD. "Did you see me? Did you see the RTA bus? That was me." She was going into Orange Co as I was heading out and had recognized me on the freeway. Unfortunately the traffic was extra heavy through the canyon and I never noticed her bus - too busy watching the fenders in front of me.

Remembering

2008-04-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

My mother at 18. Can you imagine an 18-year old wearing a bow in her hair today?

We spent yesterday evening with some very good friends. He had had cataract surgery earlier in the day and wanted the company. Jack was very comfortable and his wife said the surgery only took about ten minutes. Actually, the only sign of surgery was the eye patch that both said was going to be removed this afternoon.

My dad had the same surgery some years ago but recovery took a bit longer for him. He had no complications but was very frustrated at not being able to play golf for a while. During his retirement he discovered golf and was very good at it – even getting a hole-in-one more than once. Something I still haven’t done!

Mother had also needed cataract surgery but kept putting it off until it was too late. When she became bed-ridden during the last months of her life, she said she regretted not having had the operation; her sight was so bad that reading was difficult and her only diversions were watching TV or having visitors. She loved company and people enjoyed hers. After she passed away I had many of her medical records and on one her doctor had written what a gracious and pleasant lady she was. She was.

Though in many ways my mother and I are alike in one respect we are extreme opposites; she loved having people do things for her and was very good at letting them think it was their idea. She never taught me that art – I try to do everything by myself and only ask for help as a last resort. DH thinks I'm stubborn but I think it's more a matter of use-it-or-lose-it.

Where would we be without them?

2008-04-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

Do you remember what it was like when you first began using a computer? Were you as afraid of them as I was? Every time I got an error message of some sort I was sure I'd broken the darn thing, my employers would figure out I was a dummy and I was essentially toast. When I did something "wrong" my mouth would dry, my heart would race and my voice get a little higher. I kept reminding myself that you can't get angry or upset with an inanimate object but that didn't always help. Mom gave me a chuckle when in one of her comments she related how a "fatal" error wasn't the best wording in her medical environment!

When DGS moved out over the weekend I told him he could take our computer with him. Then DH said oh, he really wanted to learn how to use a computer and was disappointed I'd promised it away. So, we are about to become the proud parents of another computer in a short while. Yes, I've ordered it from the company with a four-letter name though I hate their support. DH will enjoy having all that a computer offers and the first thing I'm going to tell him is to relax, you really can't break them.

As an aside, when DH was diagnosed with bladder cancer virtually everything we learned about his condition and our options was through our own computer research. It amazes me still that people in small towns in the middle of nowhere have the same access to all kinds of information as those in big cities because of the internet.

The Weekend That Was

2008-04-06T16:31:00.000-07:00

RiversideDD and family are now settled in their new home and DH and I are beginning to relax and recover from the move. We started Thursday afternoon and finished up today. Last night DH said just about every muscle he had ached from all the lifting and tugging. But now it’s done and we’re enjoying our new-found solitude. Really enjoying!

We went to see "Leatherheads" Friday and DH was so tired he dozed off intermittently during the movie; I never bother him as long as he doesn’t start snoring. The movie was entertaining but DH expected more football and I expected more romance in this romantic comedy.

“Dodge”, George Clooney’s character wants to save his struggling 1920’s football team and makes an offer to Carter, (John Krasinski) a star college player and war hero that he and his manager (Jonathan Pryce, wonderfully unctuous as CC) can’t refuse. However, a fellow who served with Carter tells a newspaper editor that Carter isn’t the hero everyone thinks he is. The editor then sends Lexie (Renee Zellweger) to get the goods on Carter and promises her the assistant editor’s desk if she’s successful.

The movie then runs on two tracks – one showing the evolution of football from an anything-goes sport to one with rules and a commissioner; the other, the unmasking of a hero. One line in the movie, "The country needed a hero, so we gave 'em one" reminded me of the Jessica Lynch story – a distraction for me.

The movie was enjoyable, lots of good music (Randy Newman, a personal favorite) and beautifully photographed. There was plenty of snappy dialogue between Dodge and Lexie and Carter was the sweet guy from The Office. The fight scenes (there were plenty) were over the top but in a Keystone Cops kind of way. Not enough football for DH, not enough romance for me but all-in-all it was an entertaining couple of hours. We both agreed on that.

At The Bijou

2008-04-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the previews for Leatherheads, the football movie set in the 20's starring George Clooney (swoon), John Krasinski (the Office) and Renee Zellweger? It looks like a movie both DH and I will enjoy. We first saw the preview while watching There Will Be Blood. DH laughed loud and hard and has been waiting for the movie's opening ever since. Well, it opens Friday and we plan on seeing it before helping our daughter move this weekend. I owe him a good movie after dragging him to see TWBB. As we left that movie he said something about the movie proving all oil men are *&$$#!*^, including Cheney - which earned him a small round of applause from those around us.

DD is feeling much more comfortable with her driving. One of the more critical drivers rode with her today and told her she's doing just fine. His only criticism was that she drove a little slow which she acknowledged. She thinks her speed will pick up as she becomes more familiar with the different routes; right now it's a new one every day.

Mickey and Me

2008-04-01T18:51:00.000-07:00

These pictures were taken in Florida, May 1946 - that would have been just before my sister went to Minnesota with our aunt and uncle and I went to Los Angeles with our pregnant mother.Hmmm - that is some big bow in my hair. The Flying Nun?

These pictures came from an album that Aunt Mae kept. Unfortunately, as is the case with most albums, the first pages are full of pictures that are labeled but then the pictures stop and there are only empty pages. Mae passed away before her husband and it was completely unexpected because he was the one with health problems. Does that happen more often than not or does it just seem that way? Our mother was sick, nearly died, recovered and then dad got sick and quickly passed away. When my youngest uncle Arnie passed away at 44, his wife told me - no one is promised tomorrow. I was just a kid at the time but I've always remembered that.

Celebration Time!

2008-03-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

Who-hoo! Daughter has a new place to live! Her number one goal was to reunite with her two boys and as of today - well, can I say "mission accomplished?" She will start moving in tomorrow and everything should be done by this weekend. Naturally we've been drafted (or did we volunteer?) to help but this is a pure labor of love. I'm so proud of her and all she's accomplished in such a short time. Now we can go back to being grandparents and our stand-in-as-parents role is over. A chapter finished, a new one begins.

DD had a good driving day today. One of her fares brought her a huge loaf of bread from a local bakery. Bread? Hmmm. Does bread trump flowers? Rain is predicted for Wednesday and she's a little nervous about that since she hasn't driven in wet weather yet.

One picture worth 1,000 words?

2008-03-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Not really. The arrogance of this administration actually leaves me speechless.

You say potato.....

2008-03-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it was lunch and shopping with my niece and her two young daughters, today it was shopping with a very patient husband and tomorrow it will be shopping with my 14-year old grandson who quickly grows out of shoes and pretty much everything else.

Our daughter may have found a new place to live! She will need a refrigerator and as luck would have it we won’t mind getting rid of the second one we have in the garage. She’s accruing and we’re divesting so things should work out just fine. I recently read, “Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat,” because the review said it was full of tips on how to organize a kitchen. It suggests getting rid of all the specialized items you use only once or twice a year and while that makes sense, when you need a nutmeg grater you need a nutmeg grater. However, if I can get rid of some stuff by giving it to DD who can occasionally loan it back to me – well, that’s a win-win, right? Love how these things work out.

Re refrigerators: DH grew up in Montana and to him a refrigerator is an ice-box because that's what he had as a child - an ice-box. I'd never heard anyone refer to refrigerators as an ice-box before but that's what he calls them to this day. Let's see - what's that about not being able to teach old dogs new tricks?

Friday

2008-03-28T23:31:00.000-07:00

Yummm, potstickers!The best way to spend a Friday afternoon? With my beautiful niece and her two beautiful daughters. It was the youngest daughter's birthday (5th) and we went to PF Chang's China Bistro for lunch. Since it was a birthday, the girls each had a dessert - the birthday girl chose a banana split shooter primarily because there were four maraschino cherries on top (served with one candle for her to make a wish on and blow out) and the older chose a s'more shooter with lots of ooey-gooey marshmallow. After lunch we went to the mall and did girl bonding while shopping. The afternoon passed too quickly but we're looking forward to next month when the older girl has her birthday.

DD had a great day today - no mistakes while driving and a paycheck! Next week she loses her trainer and drives with another driver along as an observer. Her hours will change from 8:30am-4:30pm to 4:30am-12:30pm. She can't leave her 14-year old alone where she lives so he will spend the nights with us and leave for school from our house. This will change once she gets her own place and is able to have both boys live with her.

On a personal note: I've never been as turned off about politics as I am this year. I'm tired of all the lies, promises, attacks. A pox on all their houses.

1946 - A Very Good Year

2008-03-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

My sister drying off after her bath, July 1946.I love how serene she looks in this picture.

Hey, this is Minnesota - land of 10,000 lakes - we can take a bath anywhere! Is that a bow in her hair?

Aunt Mae and my sister.Uncle Quentin and my sister. My sister lived with our aunt and uncle for about six months and during that time they came to love her like a daughter. They never had any children of their own and always had a special spot in their hearts for my sister. My mother told me that because she was a single mom with three children to support, she knew her sister and brother-in-law hoped they would be able to adopt my sister but mother never would have agreed to that.

DD had a difficult day today - while driving the bus, she missed stopping for a handicapped passenger. The trainer had her go around the block and make the stop a second time. I asked if the trainer had pointed out the handicapped passenger the first time around and she said no, she was supposed to be aware of everyone at the stop and somehow overlooked her. Tomorrow is her first payday and that should help her morale!

Reminiscing and Reading

2008-03-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

My sister and Uncle Quentin, 1946. My Aunt and Uncle brought my sister from Florida to Minneapolis by way of Chicago. She stayed with them while our pregnant Mother and I went to Los Angeles. We were reunited after our brother was born, about six months later. My sister at Aunt and Uncle's home - bathing alfresco.
This is my sister's (on the right) second birthday party. I’ve just finished reading Predictably Irrational, subtitled The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions. It was a little disappointing in that I really didn’t learn too much from it; perhaps my expectations were too high.

One part I did enjoy was reading the author’s take on why CEO pay is so high. In 1993 federal securities regulators forced companies to make known the pay and perks their top executives received. The thinking was that once this became public, boards would be reluctant to give outrageous salaries and bonuses. In 1976 the average CEO was paid 36 times what the average worker received and by 1993 the pay was 131 times as much. But here’s what happened: Once this was public, the media started ranking CEO’s by pay, CEO’s compared their pay to others and the end result is that now the average CEO makes about 369 times as much as the average worker – about three times the salary before the compensation went public. So much for good intentions!

Today DD learned how to parallel park the bus! This isn’t anything a driver will ever have to do but the powers-that-be want to make sure they know how. I’m not the least bit mechanical and am in awe of all she’s learned so far.

And we while away the hours....

2008-03-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

These horses were not involved.There are commutes and then there are commutes. Yesterday around 3:30am, horses from a ranch on Green River in the Santa Ana Canyon managed to get loose and wandered onto the 91 freeway over five lanes of traffic. Drivers were suddenly faced with horses in front of them and swerved and crashed into other cars in order to avoid them. There were numerous accidents, three people were hospitalized and at least one horse was killed. CHP and ranch workers were eventually able to round up the horses and lead them off the freeway. This happened on the east-bound side, I'm west-bound in the morning but naturally it tied up traffic in both directions for hours! And hours! As bad as it was though, it could have been so much worse.

Whoops! Today while DD was driving the bus, she hit the curb while making a right turn. All the others training with her had already done it but she was hoping it wouldn’t happen to her. The trainer told her it was a good thing there were no pedestrians on the sidewalk! Tomorrow she starts going over the routes with other drivers, something she needs to learn before her training is complete.

Aaagghhh!

2008-03-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those days - computer problems at work, computer problems at home. No blue screen of death problems, just annoying.

Under Pressure!

2008-03-19T06:31:00.000-07:00

Pressure starts early, doesn't it? DD started actually driving the RTA city bus today. She drove the 40' bus for about 30 minutes, in traffic! The turn signals are on the floor and operated with your left foot so you don't have to take your hands off the steering wheel. Quite a change from her personal car, an old VW.

She is having so much fun telling us all the stuff she's learning - from how to evacuate the bus in an emergency to handling drunks. Want to bring your snake on board? Allowed if it's in a proper cage. Stiff the driver on the fare? Not worth making a big deal out of it but let them know they have to have the proper fare the next time they ride the bus.

The bus has to be completely inspected before they can take it out of the yard - tires inflated properly, brakes working, etc. In just a few weeks they (she is in a class of five) will have a driver with them and actual passengers on board. Shortly after that they're on their own. The trainer says they will all be ready by then but for right now there's so much to learn and they're feeling the pressure!

The Results Are In - All Good!

2008-03-18T16:54:00.000-07:00

DH got the results from his medical tests today and hooray, all clear. The surgeon told him he was in remarkable shape, no signs of cancer, see you in 6 months. How blessed are we?!

More blessings? You bet.

DD started her job yesterday.
18-year old grandson just got a new job that will allow him to continue his education and work too - a job with regular hours and benefits!
My Medicare card arrived.

Are political questions too hot to handle in a blog? Any reactions to Obama's speech today? I'll stick my neck out and say that if my Pastor held the same views that Rev. Wright did I'd find a new church home but do people hear things differently? Is what sounds like hate an inspirational message to others? I'm willing to learn, open-minded and curious.

Bad Humor

2008-03-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

There is absolutely nothing funny about a stock that closes at $30 one day and is worth $2 the next. Nothing. But this cartoon made me laugh anyway.

Four-Leaf Clover

2008-03-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Yesterday I found this picture of my mother (center) and her sisters taken in 1941. The back of the photo says that they were looking for 4-leaf clovers when another sister surprised them by taking their picture.

My sister and I looked for 4-leaf clovers too when we were kids and sang this song:

I'm looking over a 4-leaf clover that I overlooked before
First is for sunshine and second for rain
Third is for roses that bloom in the lane
oh there's no need explaining the one remaining to somebody I adore
I'm looking over a four-leaf clover that I overlooked before

Happy St. Patrick's day to those who are Irish and those who aren't but celebrate St. Patrick's day!

Help!

2008-03-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

I have this on our refrigerator and refer to it every time I'm tempted to rescue someone. As a kid I loved watching Lassie but that kid Timmy was always falling in the well or something! Makes for good TV but not real life.

Memoir Redux

2008-03-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

Re six word memoirs, my grandfather always said:

"Too soon old, too late smart."

I'm now at the point in my life where I can relate to that and understand exactly what he meant!

Six Word Memoir

2008-03-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

Couldn't find a picture of me in my Girl Scout uniform - this will have to do.Mom tagged me with this meme. Her blog friend Simon, had tagged her. Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six-word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Here is my six word memoir honest, fair, friendly, helpful, considerate, caring

I’ve thought about my six word memoir, whether to make it funny, touching, wacky but I kept coming back to these six words because they fit. Does it sound familiar? It’s part of the Girl Scout Law.

All my life I’ve set my own path – very independent, strong-willed (read stubborn), made my own mistakes, took my lumps, learned lessons and moved on. And though I grew up in the wild, anything-goes 60’s, I never smoked or took drugs. Not out of any particular virtue, I was health conscious at an early age and they just didn’t interest me. So I was called the Girl Scout of the group. Re alcohol – I had three drinks when I was 21 and then decided I’d rather chew than drink my calories. Recently though I’ve added a small glass of red wine in the evening. ;-)

I was out with some friends last week and when discussing bad habits someone said of me – she doesn’t even jaywalk. So I’m still seen as the Girl Scout but I’m not a goodie-goodie, have tons of faults and it’s often bothered me that because drugs didn’t interest me I failed to see their attraction to our daughter who next month will have been clean for one year.

And one more thing re the Girl Scout Law – I haven’t always respected authority. So maybe I’m a good Girl Scout with a hedge clause. Works for me.

I haven't branched out much to other blogs so will have to promise to eventually reach out to five but for now I tag Amy - four to go. I tag Kenju - now three to go. I tag Rook's Nest - now two to go.

The Girl Scout Law

I will do my best to be:
honest and fair;
friendly and helpful;
considerate and caring;
courageous and strong and
Responsible for what I say and do
and to: respect myself and others
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place,
and be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Practicing Virtue

2008-03-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

Well, patience is a virtue – right? We get to practice being virtuous. DH’s doctor had an emergency surgery so we didn’t get any results today. His appointment is now set for next Tuesday, 9:30am. At first I was very disappointed but now feel better about it. If the news is bad it can wait, right? And if it’s good it won’t make much difference when we hear it. Strangely, by not getting bad news today we feel like we’ve gotten good news. Go figure.

I bought two pairs of shoes yesterday with very rounded toes and they make my feet look very, very, small. At last, shoes bigger on the inside than outside – well at least they look that way. But the best part? Daughter likes one pair enough to want to get the same for herself. My taste has been validated!

Lunchtime Thoughts

2008-03-12T17:28:00.000-07:00

Office CourtyardRe Eliot Spitzer: he created a lot of turmoil in my industry. There were some legitimate problems that needed to be changed but he went about it in a heavy-handed way and hurt a lot of people in the process. He wanted to create a name for himself and judging by the current headlines, he has. Now I wonder: will the wives of these powerful men ever refuse to be used like props while their husbands give their mea culpas? I’m not saying they shouldn’t or couldn’t be forgiven (not up to me) but isn’t it reasonable to think they’d want/need a little time to handle this privately?

I really like the song in the new JCP American Living commercials but what’s with the young girl in the red scarf who steps on her birthday cake while wearing red boots? Is that an ethnic thing? Something done in certain parts of this country? I don’t see a second cake in sight so do the guests scrape cake off her boots?

DH’s doctor appointment is tomorrow at 3:15. We have kept ourselves incredibly busy the past few days so we don’t have to think about it but it is the elephant in the room we’re both trying not to see.

More Memories

2008-03-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

Grandpa Pete and Uncle Arnie "Black Beauty", Uncle Arnie's Super Buick and RheaArnie was mother’s younger brother, the youngest in the family. He and his wife Rhea had no children of their own. I thought he was so handsome and loved it when he would pick my sister and I up after school and give us rides home in his new convertible, especially if the top was down.

Rhea was originally from West Virginia and the closest thing to a femme fatale I ever knew. She was older than Arnie and an outrageous flirt who often flirted with dad at some of the family gatherings. It drove mother bats and there were often loud arguments after the company left. Dad, flattered by the attention, swore up and down Rhea wasn’t flirting with him which made mother even more upset. Hey, come on dad - it was even obvious to me and I was very young!

After Arnie passed away in a construction accident at the age of 44, Rhea moved to Minnesota. She had always flirted with an older brother of Arnie’s whose wife had also recently passed away and I think she thought he would ask her to marry him but he didn’t. Rhea eventually moved to West Virginia and we lost track of her.

DH was very close to my uncle and considered him a close friend and misses him to this day. So do I. And I regret that we lost track of Rhea. People that you share a past with aren't expendable.

What'd you say???

2008-03-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

Here comes the sun.DH and I had an early dinner at Applebee’s and seated a short ways from us was an elderly couple eating their meal but not talking to each other. Years ago when I would see older couples like this I thought how sad, they have nothing to share or talk about and promised myself that that wouldn’t ever be me.

Now that I am half of an elderly couple I realize that some couples may not be talking to each other not because they’re bored to tears with each other but because one or both of them doesn’t hear very well. DH’s hearing isn’t great (however he says he hears everything he needs to hear!) and there were times when I felt I was shouting across the table in order to be heard. We’ve recently begun sitting next to each other in a booth or table instead of across from each other – problem solved.

Now I wish I could figure some way for us to both enjoy a TV program together – I want to “listen” and he wants to be surrounded by and absorb the sound. People have no problem getting glasses when their eyes need assistance so why is it so difficult for some to get help when their hearing begins to slip? Just wondering.

Just Stuff.....

2008-03-06T18:50:00.000-08:00

Our neighborhood in the morning.Blood test - check
CT Scan - check
X-ray - check

A week from today DH has an appointment with his surgeon to go over the test results.

Tomorrow is DD's last day on her part-time job. She is taking a week off and March 17th starts a new full-time job with the city. After six weeks of training she will become a bus driver! She had to get a class B learner's permit before she could start classes and jumped that hurdle over a week ago. She is sooooo excited. This is a job she has wanted for a long time and the benefits are fantastic. Next - getting a place of her own where she can live with both of her boys. We're all ready!

Fait Accompli!

2008-03-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

Birth dad and me, three months old. Mother and Dad, Christmas Medicare: signed, sealed and about to be delivered three months from now.

I was apprehensive about meeting with SSA today. When mother divorced my birth dad and married again she changed our last names to his without him ever adopting us. Since I was never adopted I had no legal papers explaining how my birth certificate name differed from the name I used until marrying. I once asked mother if this would be a legal problem later in life and she said, no – as long as no fraud was intended it was okay. Maybe, maybe not but it didn’t present any problems today. Next year: social security. There are definitely perks to getting older!

Remembering

2008-03-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

This was taken at Griffith Park, Los Angeles. My cousin is on the left and I'm on the right. I am thirteen here - reached my full height 5'9" when I was 12. My four-month older cousin was eventually 6'.My cousin, Aunt Amy's son, was the closest thing to a big brother I had. Lee was a math whiz from the get-go. When we were in first grade I remember my grandpa asking me if I knew how old he was. When I said no, he said he’d give me a clue and told me the year he was born. That didn’t help me at all but when he asked my cousin the same thing, he figured it out.

He joined the air force and was sent to Viet Nam. While stationed in Pennsylvania, he met his future wife and though the marriage produced two children it didn’t last. He later met a divorced woman and fell in love. Her ex-husband decided if he couldn’t have her no one else could either and shot my cousin, leaving him paralyzed and brain damaged. He lived for some time in a convalescent home before dying. It still sounds surreal to recall this. The funeral for him was horrid. The pastor was new to my aunt’s church and got my cousin’s middle name wrong. There is no grief worse than that of losing a child no matter the age. My sister lost her only boy and said the pain really began in the second year – the first year she was just numb.

Aunt Amy stayed in touch with Lee's ex-wife who eventually moved back to Pennsylvania, got a job and planned on moving back to California when she could retire. When that time came, my aunt wanted her to move in with her – she looked forward to the company and the ex would need a place to stay. That didn’t happen because the ex developed cancer and within a couple of months was dead. Lee's son lives in Pennsylvania, his daughter in California. They both keep in touch with their grandma, my aunt. Remembering is a mixed bag - joy, comfort and pain.

Red Letter Day

2008-03-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

See the baby? In three months she gets Medicare!Today I called the SSA and (cough) made an appointment to apply for Medicare. Medicare. Isn't that for old folks? Yep, and that now includes me. I turn 65 in June and like the good little cross-your-t's person I am, I did what they say you're supposed to do: call SSA three months before your 65th birthday to apply for benefits. Deb answered my call to their 800 number and made an appointment for me March 5th, Riverside office. March 5th - two days away? She gave such a hearty laugh and asked if I was surprised to get an appointment so soon. Did I expect to have a much longer wait? Well, yeah. I hoped to have enough time to sort of get used to the idea. But I'm a quick study and by Wednesday I'll be ready. Sort of.

Memories

2008-03-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

Aunt Amy, Echo Park 1948Amy was the sister closest to my mother in just about every way and more like a second mother to me than an aunt. Growing up in Minnesota she dreamed of moving to Los Angeles and eventually did. She and my uncle bought a house near Echo Park and lived there with their two sons for some years. Later they moved to the San Fernando Valley where she now lives alone; her husband and eldest son have passed away and her younger son lives in Utah with his wife and family.

Echo Park has gone through a period of gentrification and is now home to artists, musicians and bohemian types. The last time we were all there was for a family potluck picnic; I always loved picnics there because the lotus blossoms in the lake were so beautiful and the paddle boats they had for rent were so much fun.

Big Brothers

2008-02-29T18:23:00.000-08:00

Son 6, and daughter 4, in Seattle. He always looked out for her and still thinks his role as big brother carries some responsibility. We had a huge golden-delicious apple tree in the backyard that produced like crazy. I canned apples, made applesauce, apple butter and gave apples to everyone we knew. There was an alley behind the property that had wild blackberries and the kids picked them (getting scratched up in the process) so I could make jam or pies. One more paraphrased story from Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. She talks about giving and the story she thinks that best illustrates giving is a true (she says) story she heard about a little girl with leukemia who needed a blood transfusion. The doctors thought her older brother who was eight might be a match and it turned out he was. His parents asked him if he would be willing to donate blood to his sister but he wasn’t sure and he said he wanted to think about it. The next day he said yes, he would do it. They took him to a hospital where he was on a gurney next to his younger sister and both were hooked up to IV’s. The doctor came in to check on them and asked the boy how he was doing. It was then that the boy opened his eyes and asked the doctor, “How soon until I start to die.”

In Memory

2008-02-27T18:28:00.000-08:00

A daughter-in-law of one of our closest friends just passed away of lung cancer that spread to her brain. The DIL and her husband had just purchased their dream house, the one they wanted to grow old together in when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Even knowing she had lung cancer she couldn’t or wouldn’t quit smoking. When the cancer spread to her brain she went out of state to try experimental procedures hoping they would save or at least prolong her life. By this time there wasn’t anything that could be done and she was sent home to die. She leaves behind a husband who was a childhood sweetheart, children that adored her, parents who will always grieve, and in-laws that loved her like their own daughter. She was 47.

Congrats Sam!

2008-02-23T17:41:00.000-08:00

Samantha urped her first hairball today! We will soon be in the market for a new water heater and are considering whether or not to get the traditional type or a tankless one. Do you have or know someone who has a tankless type? Any thoughts for or against?

You never know.

2008-02-22T16:08:00.000-08:00

There is an article in today’s paper about a 74-year old woman who was dragged down a street by a thief on a bicycle while she held onto her "shoulder bag, actually a reusable grocery bag holding five carrots, a cabbage and a bottle of water." She wasn’t fighting to hold onto her bag because of the contents but because she had written her name and address on it and she didn’t want the thief to know who she was and where she lived.

He dragged her for quite a while and because she was afraid of breaking a hip she eventually let go of the bag. Except for black and blue marks she was okay. The thief escaped on his bike.

A few years ago I had a similar situation. Two young men approached me in a super-market parking lot and told me to give them my purse. I always thought that if someone wanted my money I’d give it to them, no questions asked and if they were disappointed in the cash I’d write them a check. But I heard myself saying no as I slowly backed away from them. One with a potty mouth said he wasn’t f*&#ing with me and he’d cut me with his knife if I didn’t pony up the purse. I calculated how much damage he could do with the size of knife he had as I continued to back up and told him in a voice I hoped would attract passersby that no, I wasn’t going to give him my purse. When they realized others were starting to notice what was going on they ordered me to get into my car. Now, how stupid was that? If I wasn’t going to give up my purse I sure as heck wasn’t going to get in my car with them! Dumb. Soon it became obvious to them that a crowd was starting to gather and they took off. I filed a police report but they were never caught.

I never cared about giving up the money but was afraid of them taking my purse; they would have my name, address, and credit cards – essentially me. If they had asked only for money it might have been different. The officers taking the report told me I was lucky and I suppose I was. In retrospect it probably was foolish and I don’t know if I’d do it again but at that time, in that place it was right for me.

It also taught me one thing: no matter how you think you’ll react to a particular situation you never really know until it happens. And it took me about two weeks before I felt comfortable returning to that market.

Reality Check

2008-02-21T18:48:00.000-08:00

Reality is rearing its ugly head. DH got a call from his doctor and tests are now being scheduled to make sure his cancer hasn’t returned. Blood test, CT scan and X-ray all to be done within the next couple of weeks and then a consultation to interpret the tests and see how things are going. Though we’ve never been able to completely put the idea of his cancer returning out of our minds it’s been carefully tucked away into a dark little corner. Now we have to pull it out, examine it carefully and hopefully put it back again for another six months.

Kids do say the darndest things!

2008-02-20T16:28:00.000-08:00

Uncle's Resort, Minnesota 1942I first heard of Anne Lamott when she was a guest on NPR and have been a big fan of hers ever since; in fact I should own a share of Traveling Mercies since I’ve purchased at least a dozen copies as gifts.

For some inexplicable reason the only book of hers I never got around to reading was Bird by Bird so I bought a copy a few days ago and am now in the process. This is a laugh-out-loud book on "writing and life."

I'm paraphrasing this but one story she tells is about her then 3-1/2 year old son who took a set of toy keys and purposely locked himself out of the house. She heard him fiddling with the lock and trying to make the keys work. The next thing she heard was him saying, “Oh, sh*%!” She quickly opened the door and told him that he had just used a bad word, one that he and mommy shouldn’t use and she wasn’t going to say it anymore and neither should he. He was very contrite and agreed but then wondered if she wanted to know why he had used that word. She said, okay – so he whispered to her it was because he was so mad at the f#^%*$g keys!

Words and Whine, er Wine

2008-02-19T17:23:00.000-08:00

Caption Reads: Heidi Caouette, a deli worker at Wal-Mart, examines the overturned truck she drove to work in Prattville, Ala. A tornado that ripped through town tossed it about 200 yards. At leased 30 people were hurt as the storms blew through the Florida Panhandle and Alabama.

Hay, at leased spell check works but not two well unless you chews the right word. 'Nuff said.

A couple we had breakfast with the other day said her doctor wants her to have a glass of wine every evening with dinner. They don't drink at all but dutifully headed to the store to pick up a bottle of wine. But did they bring one home? Nope. Overwhelmed by their choices they didn't know how to decide so left, sans wine. DH told them about Trader Joe's Two Buck Chuck, drinkable, cheap and even has a cork. They picked up a bottle that afternoon and looked forward to having a glass with dinner but another disappointment - they couldn't get the cork out. Today DH bought them a decent corkscrew and we are now waiting hear how they liked the wine.

Fast Times

2008-02-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

Remember Fast Times at Ridgemont High where Brad (Judge Reinhold’s character) rehearses breaking up with his girlfriend only she surprises him by breaking up with him first? And then he starts trying to talk her out of it and thinks of all the reasons why they shouldn’t break up?

Life follows art. DGS decided he and his current girlfriend weren’t exactly a match and their relationship (such as it was) had run its course. For several days he planned what he would say and how he would say it. The moment arrived and surprise, she did it first. DGS was caught off guard but told her he agreed it would be best and to his credit didn’t try to talk her out of it or let her know he had been thinking of it first. They started out as friends and ended as friends.

Incidentally, he hasn’t seen Fast Times and I’m thinking of renting it for him.

Eat Carrots

2008-02-17T18:17:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Another USDA beef recall – 143 millions pounds of frozen beef from Chino based Westland/Hallmark Meat Co. Some of these cattle were “downer” animals, too sick to walk into the slaughterhouse and horribly mistreated because of it. Since “downer” cattle have been linked to mad-cow disease and pose a higher risk of contamination from E. coli they aren’t supposed to be in the food supply. Unfortunately about 37 million pounds of the recalled meat have already gone to school programs and been consumed.

I’m a vegetarian and we have our own sets of problems with recalls but at least no one has been accused of mistreating a vegetable. There should be a special place in hell for those that abuse the helpless/weak – that includes but isn’t limited to children, animals and the elderly.

Movies, Movies, Movies

2008-02-16T18:11:00.000-08:00

Mission Inn, RiversideDH and I made a point of seeing all of the major Oscar nominated movies and performances. One surprising aspect of this has been discovering how much fun we have afterwards discussing the movies/performances over coffee or dinner out.

Having finished seeing our “must see” movies, today DH wanted to see The Bucket List. When it first came out he wanted to see it but then changed his mind – partly on the lukewarm to bad reviews it received and partly because he wasn’t ready to see a movie about two men with terminal cancer making a list of things to do/see before they died. DH’s own cancer operation was exactly 6 months ago yesterday.

The movie deserved the reviews it got but DH enjoyed it. The worst part of the movie for me was when (spoiler alert) Morgan Freeman’s character died on the operating table. Going to sleep and not waking up is probably the biggest fear anyone having surgery faces. DH asked his surgeon about the possibility of that happening and was told, “yes, it’s a possibility but I haven’t lost anyone yet and I don’t intend losing you.” And by the grace of God and the surgeon’s skill, he didn’t.

I thought Sean Hayes was wonderful in the movie. Seeing Rob Morrow made me miss Northern Exposure all over again. Jack Nicholson's performance made me miss Warren Schmidt. Morgan Freeman is God or at least the voice of God.

A Reason To Smile!

2008-02-15T17:53:00.000-08:00

Congratulations DD!

She has now been clean for nine months, six days. When she realized she had hit her last bottom and it was either get clean or die, she chose life. Since then she has been working her program and taking it one day at a time - staying clean and changing her life.

We are very proud of her!

High Expectations

2008-02-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

DGS is spending the night with DS and his wife so we have the house to ourselves tonight!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm from the government, trust me, check is in the mail!

2008-02-13T17:01:00.000-08:00

It is official: signed, sealed and about to be delivered. Today President Bush signed the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008 which includes tax breaks for businesses, payments to disabled vets and some senior citizens, and rebates for millions of tax payers. The rebates will probably start going out in May and the hope is that with this new-found money consumers will start consuming. Maybe. Maybe not.

DS and his wife will use their rebate to handle bills and living expenses. His doctor has just given him the okay to go back to work after his motorcycle accident almost a year ago. Disability checks aren’t the same as a paycheck, they can use this money.

DD plans on using her check towards a place to live where she can be with both her boys. The rebate plus her tax refund will be a big help.

I’ve read that this rebate is costing the Government (that’s us) about $117 billion over the next two years. I hope this does help our economy but anecdotally everyone I know receiving a rebate is either saving it or using it towards bills. If you are getting a rebate, what will you use it for? Bills? Vacation? Water heater?

Round Valley

2008-02-12T16:48:00.000-08:00

My brother and new little brother, Round Valley, CA 1951Dad worked for DWP and for a while we lived in Bishop before moving to Round Valley, approximately 10 miles away. As kids we loved everything about living there but mother hated being so isolated. It was hot in the summer and cold with lots of snow in the winter. My sister and I loved picking elderberries so mother could make jam and dad let us earn extra money by catching grasshoppers. We put them in a quart jar with holes in the lid so they could breathe. Dad said he wanted them for fishing but I think he just released them and gave us our quarters, one for every quart jar full. The grasshoppers would spit brown stuff and we thought it was tobacco juice - it wasn't until many years later I learned that was their defense mechanism. We ran free and wild and learned to watch out for rattlesnakes that might be sunning themselves.

Living in the Sierras we were close to lots of lakes and streams and went camping and fishing often. We camped and fished at Convict Lake, Mammoth Lakes, June Lake, Mono Lake, Crowley Lake – all beautiful. Dad was a good fisherman and always caught enough fish for dinner.

Dad and mother were still adjusting to married life and each other and sometimes would have loud arguments. Dad would storm out the door and literally head for the hills. He had gone from being a bachelor to marrying a woman with three kids and shortly after adding another one. Yep, he had an adjustment period.

The last time mother was in Bishop was with DH and me. We were in our motor home, returning from a trip to Montana. She recalled only good memories about when we lived there and was surprised at how little things had changed. We stopped at Schat’s Bakery on our way out of town, a bakery famous for its bread. We loaded up our carts with artisan breads, jalapeno-cheese bread, raisin, whole wheat, rye, sheepherders, sourdough and then stood in line for the cashier. Mother was ahead of me and told the cashier she was also paying for my purchase. I started to protest when the man behind me said, “Hey, she can pay for mine too if she wants.” Then everyone in line piped up, "mine too." She was fun to travel with, shop with, be with. I miss her. And why so much bread? Our family has an unwritten rule: anyone going to Bishop has to bring back enough bread back to share.

A Country For Old Men

2008-02-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

DH listed his truck on craigslist and sold it in three days to a young man (late 30's, its all relative) who said he'd looked at and rejected other trucks because the sellers either had misrepresented the vehicles or couldn't find the paperwork necessary to facilitate a transfer. He said he enjoyed dealing with senior citizens because they were honest, upfront and organized.

There are definite perks to being a senior besides just living longer - even though that's a pretty good perk all by itself. I like that DH mentors younger men in the neighborhood and that they come to him for advice or to borrow tools. He is fair, direct to the point of being blunt, and willing to lend a hand to anyone. He's the one neighbors leave their keys with, the one they call if they have problems. A good guy and I'm glad others recognize it.

Spring? On the way!

2008-02-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

Today was another nice, warm day and most of our weekend was spent doing yard work. Definitely not my area of expertise but I learned how to handle these chores while DH was in the hospital having his operation. It’s much nicer having him home and doing them together. He even feels well enough now to let our gardener go, says he wants and needs the exercise.

I grew up in a household with a strict division of labor: mother was a stay-at-home mom and took care of five children and all the household duties while dad brought home the paycheck and took care of the yard work. I didn’t start “gainful employment” until both of our children were in school and always managed to be home with them in the afternoon. It wasn’t until DH was in the hospital that I did any yard work and discovered (to my great surprise!) that I enjoyed it. Isn't it wonderful to find new things to enjoy and love?

Camping at Mammoth Lakes

2008-02-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

This picture of my brother, sister (far right), mother, Schatzie and me was taken at Mammoth Lakes in 1950. Aren't the kerchiefs cute? Mother often tied a kerchief around our head if she thought we might get cold or if we had our hair in rollers.

We lived in Bishop while dad worked for DWP on a water project. Mammoth Lakes is less than 50 miles away and we often went camping there. Dad enjoyed fishing the lakes and mother would fry the trout he caught for dinner.

The car is a Kaiser. Dad served on a carrier in the navy during WWII and became familiar with the Kaiser name as Kaiser Shipyards built landing craft and more ships than any other builder. After the war, Kaiser teamed with Joseph Frazer and produced cars and I think dad was their best customer. I remember dad backing this car into a tree and though it did no damage to either the car or the tree, mother teased him about it for the longest time.

Maternal Aunts

2008-02-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

Aunt Petie (Petra) and Aunt Mae (Mabel) 1939 Aunt Petie was mother’s second oldest sister and the intellectual aunt. She loved learning new words and teaching them to us. She and her husband had no children and would invite us kids to spend a weekend at their place every so often. It was such an adventure. They lived with their cats near Griffith Park and Los Angeles in a duplex that was walking distance to a small market. She introduced us to pistachio ice-cream with marshmallow topping. I can’t imagine eating marshmallow topping on ice-cream now but then it was fantastic. When you’re young you can, and do, eat just about everything!

Aunt Mae was the third oldest sister and I didn’t know her as well. She and her husband were closer to my sister who lived with them for about 6 months or so when she was a toddler. They also never had any children of their own. Mother’s only surviving sister, Amy, says Mae had a great sense of humor and I wish I had known her well enough to know that. She was the only sister that married a tall man – the other sisters said that tall men reminded them too much of their brothers! She loved cooking and later in life took up oil painting as a hobby and developed her talent as an artist.

Neither one of these aunts had children. Maybe if they had lived at a different time they would have pursued fertility treatments, maybe not. Both couples seemed very fulfilled with each other, devoted even and we always looked forward to their visits. They were very special to their nieces and nephews. Selfishly, I'm sure it would have been different if they had had children of their own.

Big D little a, double l,a,s!

2008-02-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

When our 3rd grandson was born, his parents were already having marital problems - I'm too old to say they had "issues." They had problems. DS's wife had a child from a previous relationship and perhaps she wanted a dad for her daughter.

Along came our son, her rescuer and Knight in Shining Armor. They met while she was pregnant and he stood by her through the pregnancy and birth. They married when her little girl wasn't quite a year old. Ten months later our son's son was born. I can still remember how excited he was to learn he was going to be a father. He told his dad, "Hey, I finally got one past the goalie." Okay, it wasn't poetry but it was him.

He became a dad to his wife's little girl as the birthdad wasn't in the picture at all. He expected to adopt her. Shortly after the birth of this precious boy, DIL announced she wanted out of the marriage - she had fallen in love with a man she worked with. About two months later she filed for divorce.

Our son moved in with us temporily and we hurriedly bought baby furniture. While purchasing a crib, DH turned to me and said, "This isn't exactly how I planned to spend my golden years." Good thing we don't always know what the future brings, right? Little did we know then how even more complicated our "golden years" would get! The little girl continued to call our son dad and us grandma and grandpa for the longest time. And DIL corrected her every time she did. It was very painful.

Ex-DIL married her co-worker and now lives in Texas with our grandson who spends every summer here with his dad. Last Christmas it looked like he was going to be here permanently but it didn't happen. Perhaps this year it will. DS has a new wife and we love her like a daughter. They would like to have chidren but it hasn't happened yet. She is an excellent mother to DGS.

Ex-DIL never wanted sons. When she was pregnant with DGS and they learned it was a boy, she pouted and sulked for weeks. She and her husband have no children together but he has four boys from a prior marriage. The birthdad of her daughter is now in the picture, lives in California and sees his daughter every summer. He has never married and has no other children.

1942

2008-02-06T06:25:00.000-08:00

Mother
May 27, 1942

19 years old

She is at a train station but I'm not sure where. The ticket counter can be seen through the front door.

The lower right corner which would show her married name has been torn off. My sister and I found many pictures like that which made us wonder if she had been married before and if our dad was our "real" dad. It wasn't until many years later that she finally told us the truth. It didn't matter to my sister and I - dad was dad. It did matter to our younger brother though and he looked up our birthdad before he went to Viet Nam.

The back of the picture says Peoples Drug Stores which was eventually acquired by CVS.

Super Tuesday

2008-02-05T19:39:00.000-08:00

Super Tuesday.

My preferred candidate has dropped out and I’m left with choosing between two with fairly similar ideas and plans.

In deciding which one to support I’ve thought about what I'd like in a president. I'd like a president who can restore our reputation overseas which has been severely damaged by this administration’s foreign policy and the lack of the “loyal opposition” to oppose. I'd like one who can bring us fiscal responsibility. A $3 trillion budget and the market's performance today were good indications of the economic problems we face at home. I'd like not only change (obvious) but someone inspirational, someone who can pull us together again like Kennedy did with his, “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.”

I am comfortable with Hillary Clinton but there are those that really hate her and would oppose any idea she came up with just because it was hers. In fact, when some of President Clinton’s proposals were shown to people and not identified as his, they were supported. As soon as his name was attached to the same ideas they were opposed. Obama doesn’t carry the same negatives the Clintons do. Obama and Clinton have platforms that are fairly close but she’s divisive, he’s not.

All things considered, I slightly prefer Obama over Clinton but could support either one in November.

Los Angeles

2008-02-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles, Echo Park area

Those aren't two visiting Mormon missionaries on the porch, they're my cousins.

We lived with them for a while after we left Florida and mother divorced our birthdad.

The house, built in 1902, seemed so big to me but was only about 1300 square feet with 6 large rooms and 1 bathroom. The dining room had morning-glory wallpaper, white priscilla curtains and blinds. My aunt and uncle bought it in 1944 and lived there until they moved to the San Fernando Valley.

The picket fence was built by another uncle with surplus wood he got at work and painted by Grandpa. A rose bush is on the trellis at the right and a poinsettia bush on the left side of the house. Mother and her sister both had December birthdays and loved poinsettias.

I've recently learned that WEP (birthdad) followed us to California and lived with us at our aunt and uncle's house for a short while. WEP bought a huge Grundig Majestic Player that was considered quite an extravagent purchase. They didn't have many records and played the few they had over and over. Mother later had quite a collection of old records and my sister and I loved doing wild pantomines to Spike Jones and his Wacky Wacketeers. Scratchy old 78's and we loved them. It's fun now to see DGS discover vinyl.

A Trucker's Journey

2008-02-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

These pictures of a truck driver's tribute to those killed on 9/11 were sent by a friend's husband who is a long-distance trucker. When we travel, I never cease to be amazed by the creativity of truckers.

We're Melting

2008-02-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

Mission Inn, RiversideFalling home values, sub-prime loans, creative financing – all have contributed to the housing mess in Southern California. Teaser rates are adjusting and the new, higher payments can’t be met. Many areas of the country have been affected but the Inland Empire has been especially hard hit. Mortgage meltdown.

I know people are losing their homes.

I know homes aren’t selling. Buyers are waiting for even lower prices or are ready to buy and can’t get a loan.

I know that those with equity lines are also affected – falling prices means less or possibly no equity.

I know that if a house stands empty it invites vandals and that causes neighborhoods to further deteriorate.

I know Riverside County saw 119% increase in default notices from a year ago, Orange County 116%, L.A. County 83%.

I know all this. I hear and read about it on a daily basis.

However, when I saw the first “bank owned” house and the first “auction” sign in a window it hit me in a different, emotional way. These aren't just investments. We're not talking only about profits/losses/ dollars/cents. These aren’t just houses. They’re homes.

Gonna Take A Sentimental Journey

2008-02-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

In 1946 my mother and I left Florida for Los Angeles, California to live with one of her sisters, her husband and their two boys. She was leaving our father and five months pregnant with our brother. Because she didn’t feel able to handle two toddlers in her condition, my eleven-months younger sister went to stay with an aunt and uncle in Minnesota.

This aunt and uncle never had any children and they formed a very close attachment to my sister. They knew my mother was getting divorced, how hard it would be for her to raise three children alone and would have adopted my sister if my mother would have allowed it but she never would. But they always had a special spot in their hearts for DS.

Our brother was born in September and sometime in November we traveled by car to Minnesota to pick up my sister and take her back home to Los Angeles. Mother said that when DS and I saw each other again we ran towards each other and did little happy dances. We returned to L.A. and continued to live there until mother met and married the man we came to know as dad. He and mother later added two more boys to our family.

My sister and I never saw our birth father again after we left Florida. Our brother looked him up before he went to Viet Nam and they formed a relationship of sorts that lasted until his death. He had remarried but never had any other children.

Atlantic Coast Line Railroad merged in 1967 with Seaboard Air Lines Railroad and became the Seaboard Coast Line Railroad. It eventually became part of CSX Transportation, one of the largest freight railroads serving most of the East Coast. The total fare paid in 1946 was $131.83, from Tampa to Chicago to Los Angeles. The current Amtrak fare is approximately $271, coach.

Days of Books and Roses

2008-01-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

Like me, Mom hates finishing a good book and suggested that if I write a review of it, it might elicit comments. The book I just finished reading is The End of The Alphabet by C.S. Richardson and here are my thoughts on it.

If you were told that you only have 30 days to live, how would you spend those days? Ambrose Zephyr, the main character of The End of The Alphabet by C.S. Richardson has just been told that. He is fifty and married to a woman he loves very much when he is told that his illness will kill him within a month. Give or take a day.

He quickly decides to spend his 30 days traveling alphabetically from Amsterdam to Zanzibar. Though Zaporra Ashkenazi (nicknamed Zipper) his much loved wife thinks that he could use the letter “A” to get his affairs in order, she decides that if he wants to travel she will go with him. They have no children and she does not want him to go without her.

This is a beautifully written story of their last journey though it’s not a travel book and things don’t always go well. However, throughout the book you see how much they love and depend on each other and how gracefully they complement each other. This is above all a love story with a little bit of poetry and magic on every page.

Logically there are some problems with the book as you’re never told what his disease is and he never asks for a second opinion. This is C.S. Richardson’s first novel and he uses no quotes for his characters so there were times I wasn’t sure whose “voice” I was reading. But this is an intelligent and deeply touching book; poignant without being maudlin. Life goes on. Death goes on. Love goes on.

What would you do if you were told you only had 30 days to live?

Joy

2008-01-30T18:31:00.000-08:00

Life on the farm in Minnesota was difficult; nine kids, no mother and a dad who was gone much of the time building silos on neighboring farms. But kids are kids and fun is found no matter the circumstances. Mother and her sister often told us how they would ride the sheep, racing each other and holding on for dear life to the wool. Bridles were never mentioned which is probably why they fell off so often. But it is one of their most treasured memories.

John Edwards has withdrawn from the campaign but you can read his wonderful message to all of us on his website: www.johnedwards.com

And the award goes to.........

2008-01-29T16:25:00.000-08:00

Fresh snow in the mountains, the rain is over and gas is under $3/gallon!When we watch the Academy Awards, there are always movies or performances we haven’t seen. Not this year as we are making a project of seeing all the major films and performances. It costs $7.50 each to see a matinee (before 6:00pm) with the senior discount of $1.00. Afterwards we go out to eat or stop at Starbucks for a latte and discuss what we've just seen. The different locations create a better atmosphere for discussions; if we were home, I'd be reading or studying and DH would be watching television. Not exactly conducive to stimulating conversations!

I've just finished reading a most unusual book and need some time to reflect on it: "The End of the Alphabet" by C.S. Richardson. It was never in my "currently reading" list because I finished it before I had the time to list it. It's that small - only 121 teeny-tiny pages but thought provoking. I may join a local bookclub but don't want to dissect a book so much that it kills all the enjoyment. Picky, picky.

Uff Da

2008-01-28T18:57:00.000-08:00

The Norwegian equivalent of "oy vey!"

In "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls, she writes about how her mother once mentioned Jackson Pollock to a person who had been giving her rides to work. The woman said she had Polish blood and so didn't appreciate hearing derogatory names for Polish people.

That reminded me of a similar misunderstanding. I was responsible for training a new employee who had the habit of asking questions, lots of questions that had nothing to do with her job. It didn't take me long to realize this was her way of avoiding work and when she asked the next unrelated-to-anything question, I told her it was a "moot point." The next day she came to work and resigned telling everyone it was because I had called her deaf and dumb. No one believed I could have said such a thing. They were right and it didn't take me too long to realize that she had confused "moot" with "mute." I explained it to her but she still resigned which was best. She wouldn't have made it through the probation period anyway.

"Uff da" was an expression we heard often while we were growing up. Mother's first language was Norwegian and she would speak it to her brothers and sisters when she didn't want us to understand what she was saying. I always thought it would be fun to learn Norwegian but realized there wasn't much of a demand for it for the amount of work it would take. I once looked up Norwegian sayings and came across one that I recall as "you can't count the pelts until the bears are shot" - or something like that.

The Resort

2008-01-27T17:38:00.000-08:00

Uncle's Resort , Minnesota 1947 Another view, also taken in 1947
Every other summer we would make a trip from SoCal to Minnesota and visit relatives. Staying at our uncle’s resort was the highlight of these trips because we could roam and explore pretty much unsupervised. We city kids learned about wood ticks, leeches, mosquitoes and lightning bugs. We had our own cabin which was furnished but ate all our meals with the relatives.

On warm days, our uncle would allow us to select a drink from the chest-type cooler full of ice and sodas in the bait house. We never had sodas at home and enjoyed being able to choose a bottled root-beer, Coca-Cola, Nehi orange or grape, and pull it out of the ice-cold water and open it with the bottle opener on the side of the cooler.

As we got older and the fishing boats our cousins and friends had gave way to speed boats, my sister and I were reined in a little more – don’t go out with the boys in fast boats.

More Family History

2008-01-26T13:03:00.000-08:00

Mother is second from the left, aunt Mae is in front, aunt Amy in plaid, uncle Edwin is third from the right, uncle Arnie is far right and Grandpa is in the middle, showing his sense of humor by doing a little skip for the camera. He lived with us in SoCal for about eight years before he passed away.

DH thinks this picture of Arnie was taken at boot-camp because of the ill-fitting uniform, sleeves too short and pants too long.

Arnie was the youngest of nine in mother's family and 4 months old when their mother died of pneumonia. He was 44 when he died in a construction accident while using a heavy board to free equipment that was stuck in mud; the board came free, hit him in the head and he died instantly.

When I was back in Minnesota with mother, I heard from family friends how Arnie loved to drive and would save his pennies to buy gas, which then was about eighteen cents a gallon. Sometimes he would only be able to buy a nickel's worth and when the car ran out of gas he and his friends would push it home.

When his enlistment was over, he stayed in California and married a woman originally from Virginia. They never had children and his one big dream was to save up enough money to return to Minnesota and open a resort like his older brother, Edwin. He died the year he had intended to move. His widow moved to Minnesota temporarily but eventually returned to Virginia.

Grandma's 21

2008-01-25T15:13:00.000-08:00

I came across this while DH and I were sorting through a box of old photos. DGS was in the room and asked to see it. I told him it was taken the day I turned 21; he took one look at it and said, "Wow, Grandma! Those are some awesome shoulder pads!" and wondered if I had been a linebacker for the Rams! He has a wonderful sense of humor and though I'm still laughing, he doesn't get to look at any more old pictures.

When I turned 21, DH (he wasn't DH then), my parents and I went to the Sea Lion in Malibu. I ordered a whiskey sour, grasshopper and a tom collins but don't remember what I ate - probably because of what I drank. I do remember eating the olive in someone's martini which brought tears to my eyes and probably contained more alcohol than my three drinks.

The picture was taken in the apartment my sister and I shared in NoHo. After a midnight movie, DH and I would come back to the apartment, wake my sister and go out to breakfast at Dennys. She was a good sport and never minded that we woke her. Now I can't believe we kept those hours but then we were young and only needed about 3-4 hours of sleep!

And the "shoulder pads?" A family friend loaned me the detachable-fur collar from her coat. I know I was a little (?) overdressed but that night I felt like a princess.

His Ride

2008-01-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

DGS's car - he has sold (is selling) his orange bug to his mother and bought a Mercedes! Okay, it is about his age (18) and he's having some "issues" getting it to pass smog but this is now his car and he is beyond jazzed. He puts on his fancy-schmancy sport coat over a rock T and struts out the door. Looking and feeling mighty fine. No such thing as spare change anymore - it all goes for insurance and gas.

Happy Birthday DD

2008-01-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken exactly one month before her second birthday.

She was always such an interesting little girl. The first time she met a young lady with the same name she has, she asked me, "Will I be her when I grow up?"

On her third birthday when I woke her up and told her she was now three, she said, "How do I know it's my birthday? How do I know I'm really three?" I spent the better part of the day trying to convince her it was her birthday. Later that day when we sang happy birthday to her and she blew out three candles on her cake she decided yes, she was three.

When she and her brother would break wishbones she cried because she never won. I decided I'd break the next one with her and let her win. When she won she cried and I said, "You don't need to cry. You won." She said she knew she had won but she was crying because I didn't win.

One day she came home from school all excited and said that in her driver's ed class they had used "stimulators." Whaaaaa? Stimulators - what the heck was that all about? She went on to say it was so much fun, almost like driving a car. Oh, you mean simulators. Yes, isn't that what I said. Nope. Not quite.

She now celebrates two birthdays - one in January which she calls her "belly-button birthday" and one the day she became sober, her "clean birthday." It was a hard-fought sobriety and one we had about given up on. The change in her is nothing short of a miracle and we have a lot of people to thank for that. Many prayers were said on her behalf. Like the rest of us she is now a work in progress. And she's progressing. One day at a time.

Happy Birthday DD!