Beginnings

It was so hot the day this was taken. Sandra is 2 mos here.I look at this and think of how young she was - and not just in years. She was the youngest girl in a family of nine. Her mother died when she was just a toddler and though the older children in the family "mothered" her, she always missed not having a mother. She was closest to the sister just a couple of years older than she was - Amy, who is the only sibling still alive.

Once when funds were scarce, Mother walked into a store that was selling chicken for 10 cents a pound and asked for 10 cents worth. They told her it wasn't sold that way and she was so embarrassed that she remembered it forever.

I love the scuffed saddle shoes and socks. I'm guessing my birth dad is the one taking the picture.

More History

This is a picture of our Mother and birth dad taken in Washington, D.C. - pen pals who met in Delaware where she was working. They moved to Florida where he was stationed and that is where my sister and I were born. I don't remember much about him as they divorced when I was very young. When our brother was scheduled to go to Viet Nam, he wanted to find him and eventually did. My sister and I were never curious enough to meet him and he never pushed the issue. My brother established a relationship with him of sorts and let us know when he passed away.

I didn't see a picture of my birth dad until after Dad passed away. It was very strange to look at a picture of a stranger and try to see if we looked like him. Mother was always very secretive about the fact that she had been divorced - in fact, it was my sister and I who sort of remembered Dad coming on the scene and learning how to spell a new last name. We put two and two together and finally asked her about it when we were in our teens. At first she denied it but eventually told us the truth.

History

From left to right: my cousin Lee, Me, Uncle Ernie, brother Steven in front of him, cousin Dennis, brother Pete and sister Camille. This picture was taken in Los Angeles at the home of my Aunt and Uncle, 1951. Lee is almost 6 months older than I am, I am almost 6 months older than Dennis, Dennis is almost 6 months older than Camille. Steven is a couple of years younger than Camille and Pete (about 6 years younger than Camille) was the youngest until our last brother was born. Eric was about 8 years younger than Pete. We all thought he was an "oops" baby but Mother said no, they just wanted another one.My mother divorced my birth dad when she had three children. In those days it was very hard for a single mother to support a family so for a time we lived with her sister and husband and their two boys in Los Angeles. It was there that she met the man we all came to know as dad. They married and she had two more boys.

When Mother knew she was about to die, she called us all together for one last time. She told her sister what a good sister she had been and how good it had been of her to take us all in. My Aunt was very quiet and her eyes filled with tears. It was a very touching moment. Quietly my Mother said, "Okay. It's your turn now to tell me what a good sister I was." Which made us all laugh in spite of the sad circumstances. She left us with so many wonderful gifts and beautiful memories.

Discoveries

My SamAtlas Shrugged. I read that so many years ago and last week DGS bought a copy. I asked him how he had come to buy that book and what he knew about Ayn Rand. Turns out he became interested in the book because a computer game referenced it - no great philosophical intent at all. But as we talked about the book and I mentioned how many people it had influenced, we then turned naturally to philosophy and philosophers. Hmmm - so now I'm refreshing my memory of all I've learned about Plato, Socrates, etc. However, at this point in my life I only have so many brain cells functioning and I can feel each and every one of them constricting as I try to ponder stuff I left years ago. What is real? What is truth? Knowledge? Philosophy promotes endless discussions and I can see where we're headed. I gave up navel gazing eons ago but DGS is just discovering life. Ah, the young.

Healing Words

This poem was left as a comment on my blog and I think it should be shared. This is for those who have cancer and those who know or love someone with cancer.

What Cancer Cannot Do:

it cannot cripple love
it cannot shatter hope
it cannot corrode faith
it cannot destroy peace
it cannot kill friendships
it cannot suppress memories
it cannot silence courage
it cannot invade the soul
it cannot steal eternal life
it cannot conquer the spirit

DH and I were in the doctor's office waiting for the test results. When his doctor told us yes, the tests confirmed it was cancer and a "particularly nasty, aggressive" cancer, I heard the words but didn't quite take them in. DH opened his eyes a little wider, leaned forward slightly and in a very clear, calm voice asked, "So, how much time do I have left?" That question stunned me, said in such a matter-of-fact way but the surgeon answered that he was going to cure him, let him die of something else.

It has been almost five months since DH had his urostomy and he has an appointment with his surgeon in about two weeks for some followup tests - a CAT scan and lung x-ray. They want to make sure the cancer has not returned - we're all on the same page on that one!