Making Progress

Samantha loves her sun baths. I tell her everyone loves Samantha but Andrew raises a paw to slightly object.

Today we received a visit from the Visiting Nurse. The Hospital From Hell told us she would be here the day after DH was discharged, but like everything else we were told - it was wrong. However, since she didn't do much when she was here it really didn't matter. She took his blood pressure, asked how he was doing, made some notes and said a nurse would be here about once a week to see how things are going.

This morning a friend of DH's stopped by to say hello. DH is still uncomfortable having visitors as he tires easily but he was as gracious as one can be in their bathrobe. The friend told him one of their mutual friends had the same operation and died in an automobile accident about a week after he was discharged from the hospital. He seemed to suggest that the operation had made this person more vulnerable and less able to withstand the accident. Some cheer he brought.

DH is making such progress! He had scrambled eggs this morning, fruit and a nutritional drink for lunch and pizza for dinner. And he is also drinking lots of water. His strength is coming back and though DS gave him a walker, he hasn't used it. The next thing is getting the stitches out tomorrow and getting the full results of the pathology report.

This has been a very difficult, arduous ordeal. In some ways easier and in some ways more difficult than we were prepared for. The adjustment to the "appliance" has been easy. The stay in the hospital not so much. The recovery is still a work in progress but every day he's so much better than the day before.

More News

Lantern, Japanese Gardens

On Friday he was moved from ICU to a regular room. And from then on we had nothing but problems.

On Saturday when I was making my second visit of the day, he asked me to go back home and bring him a fan: there were problems with the air conditioning and his room was unbearably warm. He was still complaining about not being able to eat or drink and the overly warm room was a little too much. He threatened to leave the hospital and didn't care what the staff said. When I got back with the fan he calmed down a little.

Sunday he called and asked me to bring some electrical tape on my next visit. And why did he need the electrical tape? Because one of his many tube attachments kept getting unattached and was leaking on his body. He was tired of complaining to the nurses who weren't able to fix it anyway! He wrapped the tape around some connections but couldn't cut it because I didn't think to bring scissors. It worked for awhile and then it too began leaking. Every nurse (well almost) came in, looked things over and said it shouldn't be leaking but it was. What a mess. Again he threatened to get up, pull everything off and go home. That night he got his first "food" - bouillon, juice, and something that was either tea or coffee - we couldn't tell. The Patient From Hell in the Hospital From Hell.

Monday after my morning visit, the doctor arrived and started pulling plugs, wires, tape, and said, "You're going home today." DH called me, I went back to the hospital and then we waited. And waited. They promised us a video on how to take care of DH at home. Then they couldn't find the video. When it was finally located they said it was really old and probably wouldn't be much help. Then an angel appeared in the guise of a nursing assistant who knew how to instruct us re the care he would need when he was home. She said her father-in-law had the same operation and she helped him with his "appliance" so she was well schooled in the proper care. Finally we were ready to leave - almost. They couldn't find a wheelchair for him so in utter frustration we just started to leave. He was walking extra slow so his pants wouldn't fall down and we were making our getaway! Bonnie and Clyde of the geriatric set. We got busted though about half way down the hall and were forced to wait for the wheelchair. Then we were on our way. Home at last! Re the pathology report - clear lymph nodes, clean bone scan but not everything is in. We have to wait until this Friday for the final, final report.

Tuesday I made cream-of-wheat for DH. He had chicken-noodle soup for dinner, bananas and ice-cream later in the day and not too much else. He was very tired, restless, emotional and I was always close by.

Wednesday, today, he is eating a little more. walking better and a little more comfortable. The only thing he is using for pain is Tylenol and he says the staples are extremely painful. We see the doctor Friday to have them removed and that is also when we will get the complete pathology report.

This has been such an ordeal. I now know how illness touches everyone in the family. The boys have been so concerned over his situation. Last night when DH wanted ice-cream the youngest one insisted that he be the one to serve it to his grandpa. I've stayed home from the office to be nurse and we've just been told a visiting nurse will be by tomorrow to see how he is doing and make sure we're comfortable with all the changes. We're getting there.

The Hospital

This evening they moved DH from ICU to a regular hospital room. He was able to stand, walk a few steps and sit in a wheelchair for about an hour. The surgeon says he is doing very well and we will have the pathology results Monday. I saw his incision for the first time today and was surprised at how it seems to go on forever and curves around the belly button. He won't be able to eat or drink anything for a few more days but can now chew on ice chips. Yesterday he asked me to ask the nurse for one of the popsicles she had given him earlier. She looked puzzled and then said it wasn't a popsicle but a little sponge on a stick that was dipped in water and used to swab the inside of his mouth. Some "popsicle." They are managing his pain with morphine and he is relatively comfortable. These caring nurses are the unsung heroes of medical care. His nurse in ICU was - you won't believe this - 71-1/2. When DH told me this I thought he was hallucinating so I asked her and she confirmed it.

DD is working on getting her car registration in order. Turns out she had a few parking tickets she neglected to pay and needs to take care of them before she can get her car registration current. But she is handling it, not ignoring things as she's done in the past. Tomorrow I will pick her up so she can see her dad and spend some time with her boys.

This hospital stuff doesn't leave me much free time (I had such plans!) but I'm taking care of things pretty well. No plant has died on me yet. While I do outside work, I just think of it as working on my tan. We needed to have some work done on one of our sprinkler stations but I wasn't much help when the guy came out so that will have to wait until DH gets home. It's okay though - don't want to look too proficient here!

Surgery

The operation started on time, 1:00pm. A medical inventory was taken before he went to surgery and several nurses noticed DH wasn't on any drugs, had no prior medical problems until this - he started just about right at the top urology speaking.

He was in surgery for quite a long time. He was still in recovery around 9:30 but just about on his way to ICU. One of the surgeons let me go into the recovery area so I could see DH before he went to ICU. They said he was breathing on his own and his urine output was good - both positive signs. DH weakly said he loved me and squeezed my hand - the hand that looked like a pin cushion with tubes and tape everywhere. They needed to use blood during the surgery but that wasn't unexpected. They also used a morphine spinal drip for pain and said it would help over the next 24 hours. It will be apx 3-4 days before we get the pathology reports and learn if the cancer had spread or if it was only in the bladder.

While in the waiting room I met a mother who had just discovered her 22-year old daughter had tongue cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes. The mother was beyond distraught. The daughter's operation was expected to take about two hours and ended up being closer to five.

Twenty-two, her only child and she thought she caused it because she had her later in life. I hope she has a good prognosis.

I've only seen DH scared of two things: lightning and this surgery. He had a childhood friend that was struck and killed by lightning and never got over it. The surgery itself is now behind us and we can begin to deal with what is and move on. DH has been very brave through all this and is my hero. Right now I'm beyond tired.

A little bit of Texas in California. And it looks like he's staying!And today's menu? Seven-up for breakfast, clear broth for lunch, Sierra Mist for dinner and lest I forget, something for breakfast guaranteed to make sure nothing stays (or has ever stayed) in his intestines. I wish I could joke about this but he is scared, really scared and so am I. Scared of the operation, scared of the pain, of the recovery, of the unknown and of whether or not there is any additional cancer. He has already drawn his line in the sand - no chemo. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. No further discussions. So this surgery better take care of the cancer. His surgeon is extremely confident but is there any other kind? He really likes DH and said he thinks of him as a father figure - though he also said DH is not old enough to be his dad unless we're talking about some place in the deep south.

The bone scan was done today and he is now totally exhausted. Tired of tests, of being poked, prodded, stuck and who knows what else. He's already telling me what reading material he wants brought to the hospital and in what order. Guess he's not too exhausted. We will be at the hospital tomorrow around 11:00am and his surgery is scheduled for 1:00pm. Since there are three surgeons involved, I am relatively sure it will start somewhat on time. Relatively sure.

DS's son came back from visiting his maternal grandmother in Sacramento. There is a very strong possibility he will be staying out here with his dad instead of going back to Texas to live with his mother, DS's ex. He wants to stay here, says he's a California Kid and his mother is agreeing. We're all happy about this.

What a difference 90 days can make, 2160 little hours! Today we picked DD up and took her to the Plaza for lunch. Her boys wanted to go to Islands but she preferred Panera's. After a rock-paper-scissors, Panera's was it. After lunch we went to Border's and browsed for an hour or so and then back to our place for a visit with DH. She has a mandatory house meeting every Sunday at 6:00pm so we headed back to her place around 5:00pm. Her car is still at DS's place but she needs to get her tags up to date before she can drive. Later this week she will purchase car insurance and make a trip to the DMV (via bus) and take care of bringing her registration up to date. That will make getting to her job much easier. Right now she takes the bus and the few miles to her job takes nearly an hour. Oh, and the reason oldest son preferred Islands? He didn't know he could eat vegetarian at Panera's - he decided yesterday to be an ovo-lacto vegetarian.

Tomorrow evening is the last food DH can have before his surgery on Wednesday. Monday morning he is going to the hospital to take care of details - things are moving quickly now. Ah, no pun intended though he is also going to get a good cleaning out of course. That process starts Monday evening. I'm looking past this to the time when all the healing is over and we get back to a dull routine. Dull looks good right now.

Moving Day

Today DD moved into an assisted living arrangement after completing 90 days in a live-in rehab program. She is now staying in a 4-bedroom home with 8 others and will be there until an apartment is available for her and her youngest son. The place is small, there are 3 twin beds in her room and there isn't much privacy. She has two shelves in the refrigerator and two shelves in the cupboard for her food items. Food is not provided so we went shopping. All members in the house have assigned duties and those with children are allowed to have their children visit and spend weekends. The youngest son is spending the night with her tonight and looked a little uncomfortable about the whole thing. But then that's not an unusual look for a 13 year old. I'm sure he will have a good time. Or at least an okay one. As for DD? She couldn't stop smiling!

DH is mentally preparing for surgery. Everyone ask how he feels and he feels great, no pain or discomfort at all. In a way it would be easier for him if something was hurting and he could look to the surgery as a way to relieve pain. The symptom that got him to the doctor was blood in his urine. As our son said, men don't even hesitate when they suspect trouble in the "man department." And this from the DS that knew all the proper names for parts when he was two! Anyway, that symptom led to further tests and then to the diagnosis of invasive bladder cancer.

Would like to see the meteor shower tonight but don't think it will be visible with our monsoon overcast. The last time it was around DH and I sat outside and tried to count all we saw - there's one, look another one, did you see that one until finally we fell silent and watched with awe the beauty of nature.

He said something about a pastrami on rye being doctor's orders. Umm hmmm! Stained glass, misters and chandeliers.

And a lovely fountain adding the gentle, soothing sound of water. Pots of colorful flowers at the base but didn't want to be too annoying with the camera.

Okay, I was a little annoying. Don't know these people but they seemed to be enjoying their meal as were we.

Did a double check with the doctor today to confirm he still wants DH to have the bone scan scheduled a day before the surgery and yes, still needed. The days are going by quickly now. We are scheduling all the last minute things that need to be taken care of and going over all the mundane chores we will now be doing while he is in the hospital. He heals incredibly fast and hope his stay is closer to one week than two.

Daughter had her first day on the job yesterday and unbelievable as it sounds, they have already made it a 40-hour week, promoted her and given her a raise. Turns out an employee just quit and while holding a meeting to discuss who would replace her, they thought of the "new girl" with the great attitude. Yep, that was DD and she couldn't believe it - from a 20-hour week to full time, a raise, and new position. See what sobriety does? She is so concerned about all the time she's lost and knows she has a lot of catching up to do. This really helped and she is beyond jazzed.

Had a late lunch with neighbors at Back Street - a deli restaurant with a small selection of delicious sandwiches and the best pasta salad ever. Dining is al fresco with umbrellas and misters to deal with the heat. A wonderful afternoon. Good company, good food. It doesn't get much better than that.

What A Difference A Day Makes

Everything's coming up roses!

Today's visit with the surgeon had some good and some not so good news. The good - no great - news is that the cancer appears to be only in the bladder and there are no plans for any chemo after the surgery. The bad news is that this is a very big operation complete with a long recovery period. Three surgeons will operate and the hospital stay will be from 1 to 2 weeks. He checks into the hospital Wednesday around 10:00am and the surgery is scheduled for 1:00pm.

We don't know how long it will take but I'll be there when he wakes up. And visiting will be easy. The hospital is lenient with visiting hours so I'll be able to see him on the way to work and on the way home.

I'm making lists of all the things that need to be done while he's in the hospital. A dear friend has already called and offered to do the yard work; we'll call him if we need help but I'm pretty sure the boys and I can handle it.

Now, how is DH taking this info? He has a wonderful attitude, just wants to get in, get it out, and get on with life. There will be checkups more often in the future (doctor's orders) but we have been given a future again. After our last visit with the surgeon, DH thought we should sell the motorhome because we'd never be able to use it again. Now? We're planning where we will go when all the healing is done.

Just Stuff

Wish they all could be California girrrls,
We are now getting advice from some friends that husband should just ignore the bladder cancer. Do nothing. Wait and see. And then I read online that delay decreases your chances for survival. Surgeon says it must come out, primary doctor has seen surgeon's report and agrees with it. The final decision is husbands but I know that I want the odds on his side. He has come to terms with the idea of a bag - we just hope it hasn't spread. Our visit with the surgeon tomorrow should tell us a little more.

A lot of what I know about illness I learned from my sister's dealings with MS. One of the most important things I learned is that it doesn't just affect the person with the disease - it touches the entire family and friends. Roles change. Things may appear the same but nothing is. The disease becomes the elephant in the room.

The highway gods struck back today with a vengeance. A truck went through the center divider on the 91 early this morning and traffic was backed up all day. My 33 mile commute took almost two hours and for half of that 33 mile drive I drove about 60mph. Getting through Corona was the problem. Ever wonder why it's called the Corona Crawl? I'm thankful for work right now though, keeps me busy and diverts my attention from doctors and bladders and things that go bump in the night.

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

We were told to prepare for a summer that would be even hotter than the record-breaking one last year but - surprise, it just hasn't materialized. We're not complaining. Just enjoying. Son had his surgery today and two screws were removed from his leg. He was told to keep all weight off the leg for two weeks and that the remaining screws, pins, and rods will stay. And will he ever ride motorcycles again? No. The doctor said that if he breaks it again, just like Humpty Dumpty he will never be able to put it together again.

Daughter has just gotten a job! She called and was so excited. She starts right away and so will be working when she gets out of her rehab program. She has asked us to have the locks on her car changed as the ex-boyfriend has a set of car keys. And what will she need when she starts her life over? E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! But we have lots we can give her and shopping with a sober daughter will be a joy.

Husband has an appointment with the surgeon this Thursday to go over the CT scan and discuss his bladder removal operation on the 15th. I will be there too because it definitely helps to have two listening. The internet has given us a lot of information on what to expect and we have even found online support groups.

We are preparing for his operation and talking about the unthinkable. He says that if he doesn't come out of surgery he wants to be cremated. I've always know he wanted cremation, we both decided on that some time ago. I don't like talking about these things but know it must be done and oddly it makes him feel more comfortable.

Another good commute this morning but I've figured it out - I'm leaving later! It is so much fun to drive freeway speeds on the freeway. Crank up the stereo and let the good times roll.

Sum-Sum-Summertime

Cooler August than usual, so far anyway. It didn't even reach 90 today and tomorrow is supposed to be even cooler. Yep, time to kick back, relax. Husband's CT scan is now over. They gave him an IV solution before the scan and he said it burned and left a metallic taste in his mouth but other than that the procedure went okay. He said he even fell asleep in the scanner! Actually, he can fall asleep standing up so that probably doesn't mean much. He has a bone scan scheduled for next week and another scheduled appoinment with his doctor before the surgery on the 15th.

We have had some friends weigh in with opinions on his pending surgery. One neighbor said he would rather die than have his bladder removed. Husband told him if it was really a matter of life or death perhaps he would think otherwise. I think husband always felt like our neighbor but not now. Real life trumps theory.

And how good was my commute this morning? 70-75 mph all the way. Has everyone taken August off? Was there a holiday and no one told me? I need answers! Hmm, probably an aberration, just enjoy!

Last Sunday

Though we're having unseasonably cooler weather, these are heat-loving geraniums. Today was our daughter's last Sunday in rehab, her 90 day stay ends on August 11th. There has been an adjustment in her after-rehab plans as they don't have an apartment available for her and her 13-year old son. So, he will continue to stay with us until one is available and she will live in a communal setting but will be able to have him spend weekends with her.

I think one of the biggest miracles of her sobriety is seeing how her boys now relate to her. The 17-year old that once told her he didn't want to see her and in fact might hate her was today sitting with his arms around her laughing and sharing jokes. The 13-year old who will eventually be living with her, now seems more confident that she will stay sober. And we will be glad to relinquish the job (and privilege) of rearing both young men. It's now our turn.

Husband has to drink his first container of Berry Smoothie this evening and can't have anything to eat or drink after 9:00pm. Another container of Berry Smoothie tomorrow morning and then off to the lab for the CT scan. I'm not sure how long it will be before we get the results.

Statistics and Stuff

Samantha got her first mail today - an invitation to visit the vet for some shots. Doesn't she look happy? Lucky Sam. One in 30 - chance of a man developing bladder cancer at any time in his life. One in 90 - the chance for a woman. Bladder cancer is the the fourth most frequent cancer diagnosed in men and the ninth most frequent cancer diagnosed in women. It's a cancer of older people. Nearly 90% of people with this cancer are over the age of 55. About 74% of those first diagnosed with this cancer have it confined to the bladder. In 19% of the cases, it has spread to nearby tissues outside the bladder. In 3% it has spread to distant sites. We are hoping husband's bladder cancer is in the first group, confined to the bladder. His CT scan is scheduled for Monday. Lucky him, he gets to drink something called Berry Smoothie. Do we think this is going to taste like a berry smoothie? We do not.

Tomorrow is the last Sunday visit with our daughter in rehab - she will be through with the program on the 11th. When she entered rehab almost 90 days ago she was confused, paranoid, tired, and scared. Now she is a completely different person - doesn't even look the same. She was so ready for this and though we all know she has more work ahead, we're confident she will make it. We are all proud of the hard work she's done.

We have had so many doctor appointments and been so busy lately that when husband said to me, "Do you know what happens tomorrow?", I drew a blank. I couldn't think of anything we had planned so I said, "No, nothing special that I can remember." Big smile on his face as he said, "There's a football game on tomorrow!" Love anything that puts a smile on his face.

Finally Friday

Office courtyard - sometimes kids fill the fountain with soap and we have bubbles everywhere. There was an article in the NYT about a 35-year old woman who had just had her first child when doctors found she had colon cancer and the disease had spread to her liver. The theme of the article is how confusing and uneven treatment is and how when a person is ill, scared, and vulnerable, they need to be pro-active - be very involved and learn everything they can about the different treatments. One of her doctors gave her six months to live, the second and third said chemo would buy her more time, but a surgery wouldn't and the fourth offered to operate.

One of the things I gleaned from the article is a web site that has the treatment guidelines approved by cancer experts: www.nccn.org/ - it has been very informative and helpful and better prepares us for our coming appointment with his surgeon.

Missed blogging yesterday. Some neighbors came over and it was pretty late when they left. We were finishing up our dinner when they came and after hurriedly clearing the table we sat down to look at some papers they brought with them. I had a checked tablecloth on the table and the neighbor began tracing the checks with his finger, sort of doodling. Then his finger obviously came across some crumbs and he began forming them into a little pile. Scooching here and there to arrange them just so. I wanted to laugh but I was the only one noticing this so I muffled myself. Then I was curious as to what was going to happen to that tiny mound of crumbs - yep, off the table they went and onto the floor. Maybe my sense of humor is weird but I thought it was funny. The things we do to entertain ourselves!

August

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work I go! West bound on the 91. Overcast because of our monsoon condition. Typical for August.

Merrily we roll along. East bound on the 91. Going home.

And how fast was I going when this picture was snapped? Fast? On the 91?

At last we have a date for the CT-scan, Monday, August 6th. Bone scan, August 14th. Surgery for bladder removal, August 15th. Though going ahead with the operation is still the plan, he wants another visit with the surgeon to go over some of the details. Things now seem to be happening so quickly but the doctor described his cancer as a nasty, aggressive one so we want it out ASAP.

Our visiting Texas grandson is going to Sacramento to visit his maternal grandmother this evening. Our daughter-in-law's birthday is August 3rd. Husband's CT-scan is the 6th. Our wedding anniversary is the 7th. And son has an operation to remove some pins on his recently broken leg on the 7th. Daughter is due to get out of rehab August 11th. Grandson returning from Sacramento on the 14th. And bone scan scheduled for the 14th. Surgery, August 15th. Then we can relax. I'm only kidding a little bit when I say I go to work to relax. The market's volatility is very little compared to what's going on at home!