Bubba Dog AKA Andy And how good was my day? I bought a $180.00 suit for $41.00 - that good.

Fresh Starts

Why Andy can't relax! Look out here she comes.......... A better day today. The air has been cleared (there are better ways!) and we are both being extra considerate of the other. I think he realized for the first time that his operation and recovery affect me too and I understand better how frustrated he is and how powerless he feels. He has always been an "in charge" man and now he's not. The road is bumpier than I thought it would be but we're adjusting.

DS had a good doctor visit yesterday - his leg is now quickly improving and should be completely healed in about four weeks. He is still walking with a cane but it doesn't slow him down. He and his ex-wife decided that their son should return to Texas to start the school year and he will come out here to permanently live with his dad at the end of the year. This gives them all a chance to adjust and prepare for the changes.

DD stopped by this evening on her way to a sponsored dance. Like Cinderella, she has to be in by midnight as they have a very strict curfew. She looked so happy and is doing well. She has started dreaming again - they told her that as her brain began returning to normal she would and she is. She will soon be five months clean.

DGS is spending the night with us and it's good to see the brothers together again. They enjoy each other's company and it's fun to listen to their good-natured teasing - mostly about music and the taste or lack-of in the other. When it gets too heated I threaten to put on some ABBA - stops them cold every time.

Oh, what beautiful blue eyes! And she patiently waits for me to finish taking her picture so she can get back to her nap.

I'm not feeling very good about myself right now. I fixed dinner for DH and he said something that I took as a criticism and I snapped back feeling unappreciated, unloved, just blah. After all I've been doing for him, this is the thanks I get? Naturally he had no idea what set me off - and I can't blame it on "that time of the month" anymore. I'm frustrated because his doctor called and said the results of his latest blood test show he's still anemic and he's been taking time-release iron pills that supply almost 300% of the RDA! Why is he still anemic? The anemia explains his lack of energy so I guess the good news is I don't have to worry about the lethargy meaning DH is slipping into depression. I always have more questions than answers and I've just got to be more patient. He's going through quite a bit and I get sensitive? Not my finest hour.

Kittens

Kittens in a box. I've bought several new toys for Sam because I've been told that since she's an indoors cat she needs the extra stimulation that new toys provide. She now has a crinkly tunnel to ignore and a motorized feathery-thing-on-a-stick to ignore. Who knew that a box could provide so much fun? But isn't it often like that with little kids? They throw away the "educational" toy and play with the box!

Mornings

This was the first thing I saw as I started my walk this morning - a beautiful, full moon. I went back and grabbed the camera. It doesn't begin to show just how gorgeous it was. Truly spectacular. Most mornings I walk alone - just me and my iPod.
We're in an unincorporated area of Riverside but still have sidewalks and streetlights. One foot in the country (well, what passes for the country in SoCal) and one in the city.
I know myself well enough to know I could never live where I couldn't see mountains.

I try to walk every day which means getting up early. I'm not a runner. Too old, too slow and they never look like they're having fun. I once called a client who told me he always ran in the mornings. His wife answered, he wasn't there. When I asked if he was out on his morning run, she laughed and said, "Run? He never runs. He's out for his walk." I don't pretend I run. I don't. I walk.

Happy Birthday DGS

The day before he turned 18 he bought a wig complete with sideburns and glasses and wore them........ while he mowed the lawn. Definitely a reason to grab the camera. His sideburns kept flopping in the wind because we didn't have the tape he needed to hold them in place. Was he embarrassed by the stares he got? Nah, he's a teenager.

Today DGS is 18. He's ready to register to vote, register with the Selective Service, (and pray we never return to the draft!) change his saving account at the bank to a checking account and get checks and a debit card, get an unrestricted driving license, be eligible for most jobs, sign legal contracts, and generally take one step into the adult world. He is very sober minded about all the responsibilities an 18 year old incurs and is ready for them. He has a good heart, great sense of humor, and a keen intellect. We love him very much and are incredibly proud of the fine young man he's become.

We had a small party for him and his mother (DD) baked a beautiful cake. He is now out with his friends and he's chosen well - they're as wonderful as he is. We still have no idea where his dad is but DGS is now preparing the paperwork to take our last name. He asked DH if it was okay and DH said he'd be proud to have him share our name. And we are.

Apropos of Absolutely Nothing

Riverside, CA Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa's paramour, Mirthala Salinas, who covered him as a TV reporter and fill-in anchor while also carrying on an affair with him, has been punished by being reassigned to the Riverside area as a general assignment reporter. Banished to Riverside and demoted.

They're not sure is she will accept the reassignment or resign - maybe she will get a book deal? This may not have been such a big deal but she announced Villaraigosa's decision to divorce his wife will also being his lover! Tres tacky. She has had affairs with other married Hispanic politicians but this is the first one who left his wife for her. This wouldn't really be news to me but for the fact she's banished to Riverside. The paper makes it sound as if she will never be heard from again - hey, we're on the map!

Time Marches On

She has the ability to sleep anywhere - and usually does. DH is still very weak, tires easily and today he says his stomach hurts. I'm getting a little frustrated with his recovery. He seemed to be making such strides at first and now it's much slower. My biggest fear with all the resting he does is that he will slip into some sort of a depression.

A couple of days ago DH went to his doctor for a checkup and we got an A+ in handling his stoma and the surrounding skin area. It was red and raw when he was discharged from the hospital because they didn't have his appliance on properly and couldn't stop the urine from leaking onto his skin - urine is pretty strong stuff. His skin is now in excellent condition and among other things, that means we can eliminate some of the steps when we put the appliance on. Actually I'm the one putting it on but there will come a time when he will be able to do it himself. The hardest part is trying to keep everything dry before we get it on - the kidneys constantly dribble. I'm now using a tampon to keep the area dry - place it right into the opening of his stoma and it absorbs everything. The VN used a twisted piece of paper towel to absorb the leaks but the tampon works better.

DD is doing well and DGS is adjusting to living with his mother. He visits us several times during the week while she attends mandatory meetings since she can't leave him alone where they live.

She is living with a lot of rules and regulations but in return she has housing she can afford and support from those who have been there. That means a lot.

DS's leg is getting better - he now walks with a cane and no longer needs his crutches. Still not back to work but hopes to be in the next 3-4 weeks.

Me? Doing okay. Samantha has now begun to climb up in my lap and stays there for extended periods. She does that kneading bit and then sort of blisses herself into sleep. Andrew doesn't get jealous - he's just happy she's not harrassing him.

Good News Bad News

We have roses almost year-round. They love the hot summers and mild winters we have.Good News: The visiting nurse dropped by yesterday (I know, Sunday!) and left us with extra supplies. Plus she is putting in a standing order with the insurance company for regular deliveries of the items DH needs for his urostomy. It is such a relief to know that we have and will continue to have the equipment we need.

Good News: The appliance I put on is still working! It is incredibly reassuring to know we can handle this on our own. DH has enough to handle without worrying if the appliance will leak or fail completely. Makes life easier for both of us.

Bad News: DH has had diarrhea since he was discharged from the hospital. He told this to his primary care doctor a couple of days after he was home. His doctor told us to pick up an over-the-counter diarrhea remedy which we did but it hasn't taken care of the problem. I checked online and learned about the BRAT diet (Bananas Rice Apples Toast) for diarrhea. Not working for us. I mentioned this problem to the VN and she said DH might have C-Diff (clostridium difficile) from his stay in the hospital but we will need further tests to confirm it. If in fact it is C-Diff, then no OTC or diet remedy will take care of it - he will need a prescription. She also didn't like that DH was taking the doctor-suggested remedy and said that it is very hard on the stomach and that we really need to find the reason for the diarrhea. Sigh, sometimes I think we should skip the doctors and just deal with the nurses.

Just Another Day

Though fall is definitely in the air, we still have lots of summer left. The visiting nurse was supposed to come by today but she didn't show. It doesn't matter though because for right now we have everything under control. A male visiting nurse came by last Thursday and took DH's blood pressure and that was it. Didn't even take his temperature and wasn't in the least familiar with the type of surgery DH had - and wasn't able to give DH any info re his urostomy. Hard to believe we only have one wound/ostomy nurse serving all of Riverside County! She is pushing retirement age and I hope they either train or hire others to fill the gap she will create if in fact she retires soon. I keep remembering the ICU nurse DH had - 71-1/2 years old! She came out of retirement because the hospital made her an offer she couldn't refuse. This country (not just RivCo) is short on nurses and short on those able to train them.

Happy Friday

A home with a cat doesn't need a piece of sculpture. DGS will be 18 in less than two weeks and today he received another call from a marine recruiter; he is not interested in them but is looking into the Coast Guard. The services offer a lot of benefits but he doesn't want to end up in Iraq.

I don't want to say we've solved all our problems with DH's appliance but the one I put on yesterday is still holding and DH felt comfortable enough to meet some friends for coffee this morning. Little successes!

Spent time and money at the bookstore today. DGS and I went out for lunch at Panera's and then to the bookstore for a few hours. He did some research for the short movie he and his friends are making and I ended up buying another bunch of books. My weakness! Last week I boxed up about three dozen books for our local library - making room so I can buy some more. I have an electronic reader and I do download books but there is just something special about curling up in a comfy chair with a good book and cup of tea or coffee. Just so very satisfying.

Theory vs Reality

The theory - sweet, happy cat ready for its bath. The reality - don't think so!

The appliance I put on DH only lasted a day and a half. Not good enough. He is starting to get a little depressed over the whole thing and I'm trying to find a way to build a little dam under the stoma so the urine goes directly in the bag and not behind the wafer. When it dribbles behind the wafer, the acid in the urine causes the adhesive to fail. We both know we'll get there but for right now it's frustrating. The DVD the ostomy nurse gave us shows a person standing up, placing the appliance right over his protruding stoma, pressing the whole thing down and voila, perfectly secure. However, DH's stoma barely protrudes and that is part of the problem but at least it's not recessed as some are.

My cat calendar has directions on how to give a cat a bath: Fill a four-inch deep bowl with warm water and firmly place the cat in it, massage gently with cat shampoo and rinse off with water from a jug. Wrap the cat in a towel and if the noise doesn't bother him, finish up with a hair dryer. Hmmmm.......you think?

Shakey Town

Bella Trattoria, Mission Inn RiversideToday I woke up to news of the latest earthquake in Indonesia and it was a reminder that we live in "Earthquake Country" and have had three noticeable earthquakes here in the last ten days. The largest was 4.7 which got our dog pretty excited. Our local grocery store had student earthquake kits and I bought one thinking it would be good to keep in the car. When DH was in the hospital for his operation (four weeks ago today) he asked me to bring him some wipes. The kit had a small pack so I brought those to him. Then he didn't like the hospital water so I took the bottles of water from the kit and brought those to him. Then DGS spied the energy bars and took a few. I ate the raisins. We kept the toothbrush and toothpaste for overnight visitors. Now all we have left in the kit are a couple of small cans of tuna and some fruit cocktail. We're prepared at home, my office is near a grocery store but my car is still not earthquake ready. I think I'll keep it simple - water and energy bars going in the trunk first thing tomorrow.

Just Stuff

Riverside: A little paint brightens up an old building.DH's "appliance" failed in the wee hours of the morning; this was the first time he had a one-piece unit on and it came completely off. Our ostomy nurse put it on Friday so it held up quite well; in theory it should last 5 days or more. I put another one-piece on him early this morning and would like it to last as long as hers did. The nurse told us that years ago people were either house-bound or they improvised using whatever they could to contain the urine - including a tuna can! Something else we learned re the pouch and that is that it shouldn't be more than 1/3 to 1/2 full which means emptying it about every two hours. It's easy to empty (valve on the bottom) but it's going to take some time to adjust to how often it needs to be checked.

Another nice warm day in SoCal. We've been so lucky this summer as far as the heat goes - on the whole it's been much more comfortable than last year. Last year they said that the 2007 summer would be a record breaker but it hasn't happened. It's nice to be outside and hear the leaves that have fallen off the trees rattling down the street. But the very best sign of fall? Pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks!

Monday, Monday

Life-size statue of Dosan Ahn Chang-ho who was considered by many to be one of the the key moral and philosophical leaders of Korea during the 20th century. He lived in Riverside for a while and this memorial to him is in downtown Riverside. Lately it seems as if my ability to concentrate and sit still for more than five minutes is gone. I pick up a book or magazine and then remember something else I should be doing - I start that and then think of another item that needs attending to and though I'm not yet talking to myself I'm definitely scattered. So, I picked up the DS Lite and Brain Age game to refocus but I really think the problem is to just get better organized and prioritize. Hmm, still a work in progress.

DH is doing a little better today, no leaking problems though he still tires easily. The iron supplement doesn't agree with him so I'm giving him the iron he needs in the form of food - not difficult since just one serving of malt-o-meal gives him 60% of his daily requirement. It is almost four weeks since his bladder and prostate were removed and though he gets impatient with his progress, I think he's doing very well. One pleasant surprise? I enjoy working outdoors and nothing has died.

Grandson just received an Employee of the Month award and a $25.00 bonus. Now if I can only get him to clean his room!

Downtown Riverside Farmer's Market

The best tomatoes! The market opens at 8:00am every Saturday. Flower stand at Riverside's Downtown Farmer's Market Live plants for sale along with fresh flowers. We also have a Farmer's Market on Friday's at the Sear's parking lot but I like the downtown one best.

Most of the stands have organic fruits and vegetables. And did I mention live music? This morning DH decided he was strong enough for a little more walking so we went to our downtown Farmer's Market for a few things. One stand has the absolute best cilantro hummus, tzaziki (non-fat yogurt, persian cucumbers, dill and lots of garlic), fresh tabule and a cucmber salad with minced cucumbers, tomatoes, green onions, & spices. And of course pita pockets. Delicious! Also bought a loaf of Country Harvest bread from my favorite bread stand. It is a round loaf with carrots, raisins, rye flour, whole wheat and walnuts - so good you don't need to put anything on it. Then we got a few tomatoes, squash, peaches and plums. And to feed our soul? Flowers. A big bouquet of mixed flowers.

DH still tires easily so we didn't stay too long. He had some blood tests done after the surgery and we learned he is a little anemic. The doctor told us to get some iron pills at the pharmacy which we've done and that will help with his energy levels. A good day.

My yoga buddy. Definitely not downward-facing-dog! We had another visit from the ostomy nurse today because DH is having a problem with urine leaking around the wafer and we haven't been able to correct it on our own. She had him sit up, observed his stoma and was able to see how it is recessed enough to create the leaking problem. To correct this she molded a barrier piece that is sticky on both sides and created a wedge to sort of lift his stoma up a little so that the urine goes directly into the pouch instead of dribbling behind the back of the wafer - when that happens the urine eats away the adhesive and the whole appliance fails. Hopefully this corrects the problem. We want to have discussions again that aren't centered on whether or not his appliance is leaking.

DD has a studio apartment and her 13-year old is living with her so the only grandson living with us is her 17-soon-to-be-18 year old; because of his age he's not allowed to stay with her. The 13 year old was a little reluctant to leave us but also looked forward to being with his mother though he still has some concerns about her staying sober. He took a long time to say goodby to all of us but they are not that far away and he's already been over here almost every day. In order to keep her subsidized apartment she is required to attend NA meetings during the week and isn't allowed to leave him alone so he comes here. And he loves to wash my car - how good is that? ;-)

Le Chat

Our grandson is making a movie. Looking for sound effects, he said he wants to record the sound I make when I turn around and unexpectedly step on Sam - and record the noise she makes when she's stepped on. Lovely. Her new nickname: Catmandu.

Squeaky Wheels

I haven't been able to get to the office very much the past three weeks but when I have, this has still been my favorite place for lunch and quiet time. Three weeks ago today DH had the operation to remove his bladder and prostate. I intended to write every day to keep track of his progress but this has been the most intense, busy three weeks of my life. I don't have the time or inclination to enumerate all the problems and difficulties we've had along the way but there have been plenty.

The opening in his abdomen where he now eliminates urine is called a stoma. We had three visiting nurses come to help us with his stoma: The first did nothing, the second did a few things but they were all wrong, the third was an urostomy nurse and was very helpful and is still working with us.

We need supplies for the stoma: a "wafer" or barrier that adheres to his body with an opening for the stoma and a pouch or bag that snaps onto the wafer. We were given two when we left the hospital with the assurance that the one put on in the hospital should last for five days or so and more were on the way from the insurance company along with a sampler kit and instructional DVD. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It lasted about two days before it started leaking and our supplier said they didn't have any in stock, they were on back-order and the sampler kit was nowhere in sight. Wonderful. I changed DH's appliance and it held for a few days and then it too began leaking. We weren't given a night drain on DH's discharge from the hospital and we were waking up every two hours to change the pouch - then we overslept and it started leaking. More calls to the supplier, calls to the doctor's office, a visit to the hospital where they gave us one. When I told the house nurse about the night-drainage problem, she walked me outside and gave me a foley bag for night drainage - "shhhh, don't tell anyone I gave it to you but your husband should be able to get a good night's sleep." I visited a hospital supply for additional wafers and pouches only to be told they didn't have any and a doctor's prescription was needed anyway. Then the ostomy nurse came to the house - she brought a few extra wafers and pouches and gave us the first correct instruction on how to handle his stoma and changing the wafer and pouch. You need to remove adhesive from the skin, prepare it for the wafer, keep it dry (while the kidney constantly drains through the stoma!) and then apply the wafer and the pouch. She said all the equipment we were given was wrong and ordered the correct supplies for us. We haven't received them yet but should have them in a day or so. I can now handle this and DH trusts me to. We are on the downhill side of things - it will only get easier from this point. He's handling the psychological part very well - not too difficult as being alive trumps wearing a pouch any day.

Now re the pathology report: The cancer made a microscopic punch through the wall of the bladder. There is a 50/50 chance that cancer will reoccur somewhere and no way of telling who will be in that 50%. Options include chemotherapy, radiation or wait and watch. There are risks with all options; we don't need to make a decision now but are leaning toward waiting and observing. The surgeon's dad had the same operation 12 years ago with 8 places where the cancer had gone through the bladder muscle into surrounding tissue. His dad said he was done, opted for no follow-up treatments and has only recently developed what looks like a new cancer.

In the meantime we are working on building up DH's energy level - nutritious diet and walking for exercise. He still tires easily but that's not unusual after such a big operation. His incision has healed and unbelievably he never really had much pain from the surgery.

Oh, and today we received the sampler kit of supplies for his urostomy. Better late than never.

I've always wondered if, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" or if it's, "The squeaky wheel gets replaced." Now I know - it gets the grease. You have to be pro-active and not depend on others to look after your needs. Make calls, get names and numbers, followup. Well meaning but our urgency was not their urgency.