The Hospital

This evening they moved DH from ICU to a regular hospital room. He was able to stand, walk a few steps and sit in a wheelchair for about an hour. The surgeon says he is doing very well and we will have the pathology results Monday. I saw his incision for the first time today and was surprised at how it seems to go on forever and curves around the belly button. He won't be able to eat or drink anything for a few more days but can now chew on ice chips. Yesterday he asked me to ask the nurse for one of the popsicles she had given him earlier. She looked puzzled and then said it wasn't a popsicle but a little sponge on a stick that was dipped in water and used to swab the inside of his mouth. Some "popsicle." They are managing his pain with morphine and he is relatively comfortable. These caring nurses are the unsung heroes of medical care. His nurse in ICU was - you won't believe this - 71-1/2. When DH told me this I thought he was hallucinating so I asked her and she confirmed it.

DD is working on getting her car registration in order. Turns out she had a few parking tickets she neglected to pay and needs to take care of them before she can get her car registration current. But she is handling it, not ignoring things as she's done in the past. Tomorrow I will pick her up so she can see her dad and spend some time with her boys.

This hospital stuff doesn't leave me much free time (I had such plans!) but I'm taking care of things pretty well. No plant has died on me yet. While I do outside work, I just think of it as working on my tan. We needed to have some work done on one of our sprinkler stations but I wasn't much help when the guy came out so that will have to wait until DH gets home. It's okay though - don't want to look too proficient here!

Surgery

The operation started on time, 1:00pm. A medical inventory was taken before he went to surgery and several nurses noticed DH wasn't on any drugs, had no prior medical problems until this - he started just about right at the top urology speaking.

He was in surgery for quite a long time. He was still in recovery around 9:30 but just about on his way to ICU. One of the surgeons let me go into the recovery area so I could see DH before he went to ICU. They said he was breathing on his own and his urine output was good - both positive signs. DH weakly said he loved me and squeezed my hand - the hand that looked like a pin cushion with tubes and tape everywhere. They needed to use blood during the surgery but that wasn't unexpected. They also used a morphine spinal drip for pain and said it would help over the next 24 hours. It will be apx 3-4 days before we get the pathology reports and learn if the cancer had spread or if it was only in the bladder.

While in the waiting room I met a mother who had just discovered her 22-year old daughter had tongue cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes. The mother was beyond distraught. The daughter's operation was expected to take about two hours and ended up being closer to five.

Twenty-two, her only child and she thought she caused it because she had her later in life. I hope she has a good prognosis.

I've only seen DH scared of two things: lightning and this surgery. He had a childhood friend that was struck and killed by lightning and never got over it. The surgery itself is now behind us and we can begin to deal with what is and move on. DH has been very brave through all this and is my hero. Right now I'm beyond tired.

A little bit of Texas in California. And it looks like he's staying!And today's menu? Seven-up for breakfast, clear broth for lunch, Sierra Mist for dinner and lest I forget, something for breakfast guaranteed to make sure nothing stays (or has ever stayed) in his intestines. I wish I could joke about this but he is scared, really scared and so am I. Scared of the operation, scared of the pain, of the recovery, of the unknown and of whether or not there is any additional cancer. He has already drawn his line in the sand - no chemo. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. No further discussions. So this surgery better take care of the cancer. His surgeon is extremely confident but is there any other kind? He really likes DH and said he thinks of him as a father figure - though he also said DH is not old enough to be his dad unless we're talking about some place in the deep south.

The bone scan was done today and he is now totally exhausted. Tired of tests, of being poked, prodded, stuck and who knows what else. He's already telling me what reading material he wants brought to the hospital and in what order. Guess he's not too exhausted. We will be at the hospital tomorrow around 11:00am and his surgery is scheduled for 1:00pm. Since there are three surgeons involved, I am relatively sure it will start somewhat on time. Relatively sure.

DS's son came back from visiting his maternal grandmother in Sacramento. There is a very strong possibility he will be staying out here with his dad instead of going back to Texas to live with his mother, DS's ex. He wants to stay here, says he's a California Kid and his mother is agreeing. We're all happy about this.

What a difference 90 days can make, 2160 little hours! Today we picked DD up and took her to the Plaza for lunch. Her boys wanted to go to Islands but she preferred Panera's. After a rock-paper-scissors, Panera's was it. After lunch we went to Border's and browsed for an hour or so and then back to our place for a visit with DH. She has a mandatory house meeting every Sunday at 6:00pm so we headed back to her place around 5:00pm. Her car is still at DS's place but she needs to get her tags up to date before she can drive. Later this week she will purchase car insurance and make a trip to the DMV (via bus) and take care of bringing her registration up to date. That will make getting to her job much easier. Right now she takes the bus and the few miles to her job takes nearly an hour. Oh, and the reason oldest son preferred Islands? He didn't know he could eat vegetarian at Panera's - he decided yesterday to be an ovo-lacto vegetarian.

Tomorrow evening is the last food DH can have before his surgery on Wednesday. Monday morning he is going to the hospital to take care of details - things are moving quickly now. Ah, no pun intended though he is also going to get a good cleaning out of course. That process starts Monday evening. I'm looking past this to the time when all the healing is over and we get back to a dull routine. Dull looks good right now.

Moving Day

Today DD moved into an assisted living arrangement after completing 90 days in a live-in rehab program. She is now staying in a 4-bedroom home with 8 others and will be there until an apartment is available for her and her youngest son. The place is small, there are 3 twin beds in her room and there isn't much privacy. She has two shelves in the refrigerator and two shelves in the cupboard for her food items. Food is not provided so we went shopping. All members in the house have assigned duties and those with children are allowed to have their children visit and spend weekends. The youngest son is spending the night with her tonight and looked a little uncomfortable about the whole thing. But then that's not an unusual look for a 13 year old. I'm sure he will have a good time. Or at least an okay one. As for DD? She couldn't stop smiling!

DH is mentally preparing for surgery. Everyone ask how he feels and he feels great, no pain or discomfort at all. In a way it would be easier for him if something was hurting and he could look to the surgery as a way to relieve pain. The symptom that got him to the doctor was blood in his urine. As our son said, men don't even hesitate when they suspect trouble in the "man department." And this from the DS that knew all the proper names for parts when he was two! Anyway, that symptom led to further tests and then to the diagnosis of invasive bladder cancer.

Would like to see the meteor shower tonight but don't think it will be visible with our monsoon overcast. The last time it was around DH and I sat outside and tried to count all we saw - there's one, look another one, did you see that one until finally we fell silent and watched with awe the beauty of nature.