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Lantern, Japanese Gardens

On Friday he was moved from ICU to a regular room. And from then on we had nothing but problems.

On Saturday when I was making my second visit of the day, he asked me to go back home and bring him a fan: there were problems with the air conditioning and his room was unbearably warm. He was still complaining about not being able to eat or drink and the overly warm room was a little too much. He threatened to leave the hospital and didn't care what the staff said. When I got back with the fan he calmed down a little.

Sunday he called and asked me to bring some electrical tape on my next visit. And why did he need the electrical tape? Because one of his many tube attachments kept getting unattached and was leaking on his body. He was tired of complaining to the nurses who weren't able to fix it anyway! He wrapped the tape around some connections but couldn't cut it because I didn't think to bring scissors. It worked for awhile and then it too began leaking. Every nurse (well almost) came in, looked things over and said it shouldn't be leaking but it was. What a mess. Again he threatened to get up, pull everything off and go home. That night he got his first "food" - bouillon, juice, and something that was either tea or coffee - we couldn't tell. The Patient From Hell in the Hospital From Hell.

Monday after my morning visit, the doctor arrived and started pulling plugs, wires, tape, and said, "You're going home today." DH called me, I went back to the hospital and then we waited. And waited. They promised us a video on how to take care of DH at home. Then they couldn't find the video. When it was finally located they said it was really old and probably wouldn't be much help. Then an angel appeared in the guise of a nursing assistant who knew how to instruct us re the care he would need when he was home. She said her father-in-law had the same operation and she helped him with his "appliance" so she was well schooled in the proper care. Finally we were ready to leave - almost. They couldn't find a wheelchair for him so in utter frustration we just started to leave. He was walking extra slow so his pants wouldn't fall down and we were making our getaway! Bonnie and Clyde of the geriatric set. We got busted though about half way down the hall and were forced to wait for the wheelchair. Then we were on our way. Home at last! Re the pathology report - clear lymph nodes, clean bone scan but not everything is in. We have to wait until this Friday for the final, final report.

Tuesday I made cream-of-wheat for DH. He had chicken-noodle soup for dinner, bananas and ice-cream later in the day and not too much else. He was very tired, restless, emotional and I was always close by.

Wednesday, today, he is eating a little more. walking better and a little more comfortable. The only thing he is using for pain is Tylenol and he says the staples are extremely painful. We see the doctor Friday to have them removed and that is also when we will get the complete pathology report.

This has been such an ordeal. I now know how illness touches everyone in the family. The boys have been so concerned over his situation. Last night when DH wanted ice-cream the youngest one insisted that he be the one to serve it to his grandpa. I've stayed home from the office to be nurse and we've just been told a visiting nurse will be by tomorrow to see how he is doing and make sure we're comfortable with all the changes. We're getting there.

The Hospital

This evening they moved DH from ICU to a regular hospital room. He was able to stand, walk a few steps and sit in a wheelchair for about an hour. The surgeon says he is doing very well and we will have the pathology results Monday. I saw his incision for the first time today and was surprised at how it seems to go on forever and curves around the belly button. He won't be able to eat or drink anything for a few more days but can now chew on ice chips. Yesterday he asked me to ask the nurse for one of the popsicles she had given him earlier. She looked puzzled and then said it wasn't a popsicle but a little sponge on a stick that was dipped in water and used to swab the inside of his mouth. Some "popsicle." They are managing his pain with morphine and he is relatively comfortable. These caring nurses are the unsung heroes of medical care. His nurse in ICU was - you won't believe this - 71-1/2. When DH told me this I thought he was hallucinating so I asked her and she confirmed it.

DD is working on getting her car registration in order. Turns out she had a few parking tickets she neglected to pay and needs to take care of them before she can get her car registration current. But she is handling it, not ignoring things as she's done in the past. Tomorrow I will pick her up so she can see her dad and spend some time with her boys.

This hospital stuff doesn't leave me much free time (I had such plans!) but I'm taking care of things pretty well. No plant has died on me yet. While I do outside work, I just think of it as working on my tan. We needed to have some work done on one of our sprinkler stations but I wasn't much help when the guy came out so that will have to wait until DH gets home. It's okay though - don't want to look too proficient here!

Surgery

The operation started on time, 1:00pm. A medical inventory was taken before he went to surgery and several nurses noticed DH wasn't on any drugs, had no prior medical problems until this - he started just about right at the top urology speaking.

He was in surgery for quite a long time. He was still in recovery around 9:30 but just about on his way to ICU. One of the surgeons let me go into the recovery area so I could see DH before he went to ICU. They said he was breathing on his own and his urine output was good - both positive signs. DH weakly said he loved me and squeezed my hand - the hand that looked like a pin cushion with tubes and tape everywhere. They needed to use blood during the surgery but that wasn't unexpected. They also used a morphine spinal drip for pain and said it would help over the next 24 hours. It will be apx 3-4 days before we get the pathology reports and learn if the cancer had spread or if it was only in the bladder.

While in the waiting room I met a mother who had just discovered her 22-year old daughter had tongue cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes. The mother was beyond distraught. The daughter's operation was expected to take about two hours and ended up being closer to five.

Twenty-two, her only child and she thought she caused it because she had her later in life. I hope she has a good prognosis.

I've only seen DH scared of two things: lightning and this surgery. He had a childhood friend that was struck and killed by lightning and never got over it. The surgery itself is now behind us and we can begin to deal with what is and move on. DH has been very brave through all this and is my hero. Right now I'm beyond tired.

A little bit of Texas in California. And it looks like he's staying!And today's menu? Seven-up for breakfast, clear broth for lunch, Sierra Mist for dinner and lest I forget, something for breakfast guaranteed to make sure nothing stays (or has ever stayed) in his intestines. I wish I could joke about this but he is scared, really scared and so am I. Scared of the operation, scared of the pain, of the recovery, of the unknown and of whether or not there is any additional cancer. He has already drawn his line in the sand - no chemo. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. No further discussions. So this surgery better take care of the cancer. His surgeon is extremely confident but is there any other kind? He really likes DH and said he thinks of him as a father figure - though he also said DH is not old enough to be his dad unless we're talking about some place in the deep south.

The bone scan was done today and he is now totally exhausted. Tired of tests, of being poked, prodded, stuck and who knows what else. He's already telling me what reading material he wants brought to the hospital and in what order. Guess he's not too exhausted. We will be at the hospital tomorrow around 11:00am and his surgery is scheduled for 1:00pm. Since there are three surgeons involved, I am relatively sure it will start somewhat on time. Relatively sure.

DS's son came back from visiting his maternal grandmother in Sacramento. There is a very strong possibility he will be staying out here with his dad instead of going back to Texas to live with his mother, DS's ex. He wants to stay here, says he's a California Kid and his mother is agreeing. We're all happy about this.

What a difference 90 days can make, 2160 little hours! Today we picked DD up and took her to the Plaza for lunch. Her boys wanted to go to Islands but she preferred Panera's. After a rock-paper-scissors, Panera's was it. After lunch we went to Border's and browsed for an hour or so and then back to our place for a visit with DH. She has a mandatory house meeting every Sunday at 6:00pm so we headed back to her place around 5:00pm. Her car is still at DS's place but she needs to get her tags up to date before she can drive. Later this week she will purchase car insurance and make a trip to the DMV (via bus) and take care of bringing her registration up to date. That will make getting to her job much easier. Right now she takes the bus and the few miles to her job takes nearly an hour. Oh, and the reason oldest son preferred Islands? He didn't know he could eat vegetarian at Panera's - he decided yesterday to be an ovo-lacto vegetarian.

Tomorrow evening is the last food DH can have before his surgery on Wednesday. Monday morning he is going to the hospital to take care of details - things are moving quickly now. Ah, no pun intended though he is also going to get a good cleaning out of course. That process starts Monday evening. I'm looking past this to the time when all the healing is over and we get back to a dull routine. Dull looks good right now.