The quilt pictured was given to me last week by my neighbor. It was hand quilted by her mother and grandmother, is 55-years old and has a wool batting. I felt guilty accepting it and politely tried to decline the gift saying it was really a family heirloom and was she sure she wanted to part with it. Was there another member of her family she would prefer to give it to? Nope, she wanted me to have it. She then went on to explain that six years ago after her mother who lived with her had passed away, seeing the quilt made her sad. I then felt more comfortable accepting it and remembered a friend who used to make and give quilts as gifts. She always took a picture of them before she gave them away so I asked my neighbor if she would want pictures of her quilt. She got a little teary-eyed, hugged me and said yes. These are some of the pictures I gave her.
Everyone handles grief differently but it would grieve me to give away something like that if my mother had made it. I wonder what makes the difference. After my mother passed away, a client asked if he could ask me about her or if the subject was too painful. It was a sort-of therapy for my grief to share her so I was rather grateful he asked and it didn’t bother me at all. I found letters mother wrote that I would have liked to share with my sister but she said no – she didn't want to see them because it was just too painful for her. Both of us grieved but handled it differently. Does it give you comfort or pain to discuss a loved one who has passed away? I think my client was particularly tactful when he asked if it was okay to ask and that’s what I now do with those who have had a loss.
6 comments:
Well, I would love to see those letters. It makes me feel closer to the person when I find out a little bit more about what they were like. And I realize that they are gone, but I want the memories of that person to stay fresh in my mind and so, thoughts of them are a good thing. That person must have thought a lot of you to give you that quilt. She had to know that it would be well taken care of by you. What an honor! And I know that her trust is well-founded. I can't wait to see the quilt! And those letters! :)
I have some letters that my dad wrote to my mum when they were first married. Sometimes I get them out of the ancient beaded evening bag where my mother stored them, and read them. It doesn't make me sad (well, just a little bit) it makes me happy.
I love the quilt. How caring of her to give it to you, she knew you would appreciate her gift.
I love to talk about my mom and dad - and others I have loved who have died. One of my greatest treasure is an audio tape I found of my mom giving a talk at church about her trip to the Holy Land. Just hearing her voice again was beyond comforting to me, even if it did make me cry.
The quilt is beautiful and now has a story to goo with it and make it even more valuable.
i read and re-read all of my mother's letters...and the newspaper clippings from my grandmother....and the letters from my grandmother to me. I have finally been able to pass most of the letters, photos and other items on to my oldest son who surprised me and was really excited to have the stuff. i would probably feel more sadness if I had a good relationship with my mom, but i didn't. as far as giving an item hand made by her...nope. I've kept those things and it does bring me pleasure to look at them and touch the places where my mom brushed paint or crocheted
Happy 4th of July from Canada!
Just checking in.... haven't seen you blogging for some time... perhaps you're on vacation? Hope so.
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